Every breakup is different, but there are similar ways on how to deal with a breakup regardless of how things faired between you and your ex.
Most breakups send people into depression and some never recover while others fight their way through to recovery. It doesn’t always have to be nasty but being rude and inconsiderate have become the new norm.
If you’re reading this, chances are you are trying to recover from the shock of how things you thought seemed perfect wasn’t so perfect after all.
It could also be that your ex said some harsh words that further plunged you into confusion. I get it. It’s a road most of us have had to pass through at some time in life.
Breaking up has never been easy, even if you are the one initiating the end of the relationship. Either way, it could send you into a downward spiral of wallowing and even overanalyzing the entire situation.
There’s one thing about the post-breakup period; it’s never easy, but you will eventually get past it. So let’s briefly go through ways on how to deal with a breakup.
1. Express Your Emotions
The first thing on our list of how to deal with a breakup is to express your emotions. Holding back from expressing them can be detrimental to your recovery.
Let your emotions out as long as it doesn’t hurt anybody else or even yourself. Is it okay to feel sad? Of course, it is. Find ways to release the pain you may be feeling. Will you feel some negative emotions? Of course, you will.
As humans, we are beings of emotions, and we all express them differently. I don’t mean going over to the ex’s place to shatter his windshield or windows.
After accepting the reality of things, expressing your emotions is your first step to recovery. The grieving process can also be callous, and you could feel dejected and still experience sadness.
Others might even experience relief, especially if the relationship felt like hell on earth.
There is nothing as dangerous as being someone who has adapted to pain.
Some of us would say, “I still love him/her” or “I can’t live without him/her in my life.” People who still make statements like those have many questions on their minds and one is “how to deal with a breakup with someone you love?” Acknowledge whatever you feel as your mind is still in shock.
Well, some of the feelings and stages of emotion may include denial, rejection, pain, betrayal, fear, sadness, relief, embarrassment, and acceptance.
This is where work begins, and you’ll need to be strong, or else you will find pain comforting, and there is nothing as dangerous as being someone who has adapted to pain.
So honor your feelings and know that you will start to feel whole again as time goes on.
2. Find ‘YOU’ Again
It’s easy to lose touch with yourself when you’ve been in a relationship for a long time. However, after breaking up, there will be some positive points to hold onto.
This is a time to go for self-exploration as there are things you’d love to do that you have not had the chance to do because of your relationship.
All I’m saying is, rediscover your old interests. Most times, in trying to please the other person, we tend to change some things about ourselves, and those things may not be necessarily negative, but because of the one we are with, we let go.
For example, some people have had to change their style of dressing because of the one they are with. So if you have lost a piece of yourself in the relationship, now is your chance to find yourself again, which can be exciting.
If there have been any activities you have always wanted to try, let’s say places to travel or clothes you’d love to try, this period may just be the time. Seriously consider doing them.
Things that make you happy are the real you, so work towards finding those things again as they will be helpful. Finding you again is how to improve yourself after a breakup
3. Take Care Of Your Body
Oftentimes, when people go through a breakup, they tend to neglect the care of their bodies. The rationale for their action may suggest that they were doing those things because they wanted to look attractive to their spouse.
Now that the relationship is over, they see no need. First of all, you are always going to live with yourself forever so take good care of your body because it is the right thing to do.
It is more important than ever to practice self-care and not give in to the popular opinions sold to us in rom-com post-breakup life.
One thing that always comes after a breakup is stress. This can have negative effects on your body if not properly handled.
So, giving your mind and body what it needs is a necessary tool you will need to fight stress in other to speed up your recovery process.
One good way of how to deal with a breakup is to take good care of your body. See this as an opportunity to create new habits and routines that will nourish your body and mind.
Eating healthy will help you stay in shape physically. Consuming too much sugar can release cortisol and amplify the negative effects of your ordeal.
Other foods can have a calming, even mood-boosting effect. Allocate quality time to prepare nourishing meals loaded with fruits and vegetables, fatty fish, nuts, seeds, and yoghurts.
Higher intake of antioxidants and probiotics have all been associated with helping to improve mood and reduce anxiety.
Getting plenty of sleep is likewise paramount if you are going through a period of breakup. This may sound unimportant or childish, but getting the required time of sleep throughout the night is key for counteracting the elevated stress you experience with a breakup.
In this stage, it’s hard to resist the thought of staying up all night to worry about the state of things in your life. So you may find yourself staying up most nights.
Research has shown that poor sleep is tied to increased production of cortisol. Avoid the temptation of drinking alcohol because many think it will help ease the pain they feel.
But that’s not true. Likewise, consider cutting out caffeine to enable you to rest as you attempt to close your eyes.
4. Connect With People
We often find people who do the exact opposite right after a breakup. What to do right after a breakup is to connect with people. Just because your romantic relationship is over doesn’t mean you’re alone in this world.
There is still more to live for and more to see out there. Make effort to call a close friend or a family member whose reasoning is good. At this point in your life, you don’t need negative energy of any sort close to you.
Isolating yourself from the world, especially at your lowest point in life will not do you any good. Seeing people smile and enjoy the company of good friends will let you know that there is light for you at the end of the tunnel.
I speak as one that has had a fair share of traveling down this road. During my first ever breakup, the grief was so strong that I didn’t know how to deal with a breakup.
I wanted to be alone but my close friends helped me. At this point, focusing on your social relationships can also help strengthen your romantic skills in the future.
It will also help decrease depression. Try hanging out a lot because it is beneficial to your recovery.
5. Cut Any Form Of Communication
Some people will prefer not to sever the ties with their ex, and others will still love to live in what they had, or what they shared and never embrace the new dawn.
While you may feel like talking or meeting up with your ex, keeping in touch tends to prolong the heartache or pain. Resist the urge to text, email, meet in person or call.
If only we will be sincere, the feelings don’t just automatically die. It’s the same thing at the beginning of the relationship.
You didn’t just fall deeply in love with them, however, because of constant contact with them, the feelings grew stronger by the day.
You two broke up for a reason and the earlier you accept reality, the better it is for you
If feelings grow with frequent communication, then it is safe to safe that stopping all forms of communication can also make feelings die.
One of the ways on how to get over a breakup fast is by severing the ties with your ex. It’s not that easy as we presume it would be, but with deliberate effort, you will gradually get there.
You two broke up for a reason and the earlier you accept reality, the better it is for you. You may likely feel desperate to contact your ex, especially in the beginning, but remind yourself of the reasons you broke up. Stay away from that phone.
Failure to do so might indicate that they might find a way into your new relationship when you start a new one. You sure don’t want your new partner to still be obsessed with their previous relationship, so you should not be that person either.
6. Start A Gratitude Journal
What are you thankful for? Sounds strange, right? If only you will look inward, there is still much to be grateful for even in the midst of the storm.
People who dwell on the positive things in life are usually happier than those who do not. This is one thing we ought to know by now. Negative thoughts mixed with worry, only make a person miserable.
Practicing gratitude can create the mental shift you need to start leaning into the things in life that make you happy.
One of the best ways on how to deal with a breakup is to make a list of all the things you are grateful for, you will be surprised at how quickly your attitude will begin to change.
Such things may include some good things that have come out of the end of your relationship. Doing this will also help alleviate emotional distress.
Use this method as a weapon against self-hatred. In other words, your gratitude journal can also be a place to practice self-love by writing things that you feel grateful for.
Breakups can sometimes leave us struggling with our confidence, so it’s important to find several ways to keep your self-esteem high as part of how to deal with a breakup.
7. Replace Judgemental Thoughts With Positive Thoughts
How to move on from a breakup would be to replace judgemental thoughts with positive ones.
This gives room to overanalyze the relationship if we fail to control our thoughts. Judging yourself isn’t going to speed up the process. Don’t waste time thinking about what could have been or what you could have done differently or better.
What’s happened has happened and can’t be changed. You could either choose to learn from it or dwell in misery.
You could either choose to learn from it or dwell in misery.
When judgemental thoughts enter your mind, it’s ok to acknowledge them but don’t build a monument out of it. Instead, replace those thoughts with positive ones.
Affirmative words will also help, sometimes, thoughts alone won’t be enough. You need to hear yourself say it out.
Words like, “I’m in the process of becoming the best version of myself.” Or “I know I will come out of this very strong.” Will be very helpful.
8. Embrace Alone Time And Write It Out
Time alone should be used to reflect on the good things life has offered to you. Writing can be one of the most effective ways of how to deal with a breakup. This is a creative way of processing things differently.
The emotional recovery process can bring up a lot of emotions you may not have known you have. Writing can be the space through which you heal.
Having that freedom to write can give you deep insight into your breakup, current feelings, and why you feel your breakup is so painful. In other to write, you may need some time alone to tell yourself more.
9. Read Books About Recovery
One way on how to deal with a breakup alone when your friend seems to be tired of you is to engage yourself by reading books.
Reading books featuring characters going through heartbreak can be helpful. Most times, it’s not just our victories alone that make us, even our failures do.
Times, when we navigate our way through a hard time to get back to the top, is as important as the victory itself.
We cannot relate to people who haven’t passed through what we have felt before. There’s this connection we feel and this hope that comes knocking on the door. If you can make it, then I can make it too.
Be careful not to use this as an avenue to keep talking or thinking about your ex. This mentality can resist you from progressing. Explore other genres that can uplift you.
Always remember that the goal is to be motivated to move on. This is one of the ways of how to deal with a breakup and be successful.
10. Get Rid Of Your Ex’s Things
Someone once said, “she didn’t even take the time to pack her things. Her memories are still littered all over my floors.”
In such a case, it’s going to be difficult to move on, especially when even in your space, you still see traces of your ex everywhere you turn.
How to get over a breakup when you still love each other is one of the hardest things to do in the world. I’m sure during the period that both of you were in a relationship, you spent several nights at each other’s place and left your things there.
Now you both are no longer together, and you may not want to hear this; get rid of their things.
All forms of evidence like your framed photos together and gifts from your ex should be put aside because of your health.
The goal isn’t to feel like the victim but to remove any reminder of someone who no longer has a place in your heart.
This might trigger future thoughts if their things are still around and that may impair the process of healing. Take this opportunity to give your room a new look.
Make new memories by adding to your space new things that give you joy because that’s where you will be most days during the healing process.
11. Do A Social Media Detox
How to deal with a breakup would entail doing a social media cleansing. When a breakup is fresh, you may want to see what your ex is up to, but that can make you suffer a setback in your journey to recovery.
It may not be easy because we have a little device that can tell us or show us the things our hearts are yearning for. If you are nervous about doing this, take a deep breath and say to yourself, “I am doing this for my betterment.”
Besides stopping or cutting communication from your ex, taking a social media break can also speed recovery. Do yourself a favor and delete Instagram from your phone for some time, that way, they won’t randomly pop in your Instagram feed or Story.
12. Make A List Of All The Red Flags
This may be tough to do when you are mourning over a breakup and missing someone you once loved. Jot down everything that was an issue in the relationship that you chose to ignore.
Write about their inability to help with things in the house, their closed-mindedness in bed, or whatever it might be. This may work.
Several studies have shown that thinking negative thoughts about your ex, rather than recalling why you loved the person, may temporarily put you in a bad mood but can help you get over them faster.
Besides that, thinking of past negative qualities of your ex is more effective for getting rid of any feelings of love you’ve had for them.
I’d like you to be careful not to allow hate to set up a construction company inside you, so don’t linger on the negative thoughts for too long.
Asides from that, it will enable you to see that you took a lot of things that you shouldn’t have allowed, and it will make you aware for the future that you deserve better.
The essence of this whole thing is to help you fall out of love faster. So one way of how to deal with a breakup is to try this out, although with much caution.
13. Volunteer
Volunteering is a great way to get involved. It is tempting to throw a pity party when you’re mourning the loss of a romantic relationship, especially when you caused it.
So one of the ways of how to get over a breakup you caused is to volunteer at an animal shelter. This will help you get in touch with a part of you that still cares for living things.
Indeed, volunteering will help lessen any form of depression you may be feeling. Besides that, helping others will help you improve and speed up the process. Making a difference in your community will put a smile on your face.
14. Surround Yourself With A Healthy Support Group
One of the best ways to deal with a breakup is to find a support group. It is important to spend time with supportive friends or family members.
Try to avoid the temptation of overanalyzing your past relationship with them. Instead, plan fun activities or volunteer together.
You could also try seeing a therapist and talk about things, and this might help you feel better. It is crucial to do so, especially if the relationship ended in a similar pattern like the others you’ve been in the past.
15. Give It Time
Time is crucial in everything we do on earth. So, it is vital to allow time to play its part as you start your journey to recovery.
Your breakup can be different from your neighbor’s own. Likewise, the healing process might differ as well. You are heartbroken now, but you won’t be heartbroken forever.
You will need time to get back and get it right.
We have heard this countless times; time is a revealer of things, and it does heal our wounds. You will need time to get back and get it right.
While it may be uncomfortable now to think of this person as a memory, it won’t always be so. Furthermore, don’t be hard on yourself if the grieving stage doesn’t seem to go away. But be optimistic it will fade away.
There are other ways of how to deal with a breakup, but I have just shared my thoughts with you. I wish you a speedy recovery.
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