In today’s article, we will be considering a very sensitive topic that has caused pain to many because they didn’t do it correctly.
And that is, “how to play hard to get.” Unfortunately, too often, many people have fallen victims to this because they didn’t apply the wisdom needed to get the required results.
So instead, what did they get in return? Nothing but pain and tears.
And what did that do to them? It further drove them into their shells.
On the other hand, some got information from friends, co-workers, or even close family members who had their best interest at heart.
But somewhere along the line, they either misunderstood the entire concept, blew things up, or missed a vital step.
So, in today’s post, I will meticulously state some obvious facts about the topic and how we should go about it.
Of course, how to play hard to get isn’t everybody’s thing, but if you want some guidelines about the whole process, carefully read through this article.
Why Do Some People Play Hard To Get?
Is there anything wrong with playing hard to get? Certainly nothing wrong in my point of view. However, some do that for specific reasons, and I would like to discuss that briefly.
One of the first things to consider is past experiences because, as humans, we become a product of our environment and experiences.
So ugly past experiences and the fear of the unknown can be a determinant. Significantly, the fear of “it didn’t go well the last time” can lead people to learn how to play hard to get.
So often, women are on the receiving end of the spectrum because of how the dating scene has made things look.
But, of course, some male folks have had their fair share of past hurts from unfaithful partners who claimed they were faithful until they were caught.
If you suspect your spouse is cheating and would like to catch them, you could read my article “10 Effective Tricks To Catch A Cheater” to learn more.
Furthermore, the fear of the unknown could also play a part in many people wanting to play hard to get. So they use this as a system to protect themselves from what they fear most.
Another set of people plays hard to get because they feel it increases a potential mate’s desirability. In other words, playing hard to get makes it seem like they are in demand.
Or they are maybe trying hard not to seem too eager. Does this sound familiar to you? Perhaps they show you playing hard to get signs whenever you want to hang out with them.
Worry less now that you know they may have legitimate reasons for acting that way.
So, do you still want to know how to play hard to get? Then, join me as we explore several ways to help you learn how to play hard to get.
1. Keep Yourself Occupied
Of course, this has to make the list of how to play hard to get. The reason isn’t rocket science because how can a person play hard to get without being occupied? But unfortunately, many still do not know the tricks to the game.
However, please, note that I didn’t say, “pretend to keep yourself busy,” but I said, “keep yourself busy.”
Because there is a big difference between both, and if you make a mistake, and they find out, you sure would miss out on getting into a relationship with them.
Pretending you are busy is terrible because their intuition could tell them that you aren’t.
Or better yet, they may even be close to you before inquiring whether you both could hang out.
So what if you lie and they are watching you from afar without your knowledge? How would they view you? So you see why I said it is not a good idea to pretend you are busy.
On second thought, people can tell when you are actually acting, so that’s why I started by telling you that it shouldn’t be on your list.
On the other hand, when someone is busy, undoubtedly you will know because there will be this sense of genuineness in the air.
That way, they will not suspect you are playing hard to get because the situation bailed you away from going out with them.
So if you want to play hard to get, this is how to play hard to get.
If you genuinely don’t have much work on your hands and still want to be unavailable, there are a couple of ways you could do that.
First, have you tried hanging out with your friends instead? If you haven’t done that lately, there couldn’t be a better time than now.
Secondly, the gym is another place you could go to in other to occupy yourself. Lastly, cultivate your hidden gifts in you within this period because they will make you a better person and positively impact lives.
All three ideas are ways you could use to keep yourself busy without really pretending to be engaged.
2. Physically Play Hard To Get
Sometimes, how to play hard to get is to place boundaries and keep them so. But, furthermore, I must warn you that you should resist any temptation, so you don’t cross the limits yourself.
The reason is people watch to see if you are just a talker alone or a talker and doer. I remember someone once said that, beyond the words you speak, many wait to see if you will stand by them.
Isn’t that how respect is earned? So if you want to play hard to get, try being a person that respects their own rules first.
For instance, if he makes advances to touch or get intimate with you physically, and you turn it down, he will take you seriously.
Because the truth is, beyond what you say, your actions will always speak louder than your words.
Although, you might think that this may make them run away. But if they truly value you, they will respect and abide by your rules.
Also, how to play hard to get with your crush, especially in the get-to-know stage, you should apply wisdom.
And the reason is wisdom is principal so that you don’t ruin things before they even get real.
You don’t want to send the wrong signal at this stage, so interest each other via other means. And you can still do this by also physically playing hard to get.
Sincerely, it isn’t wrong to be a principled person, nor does it make you evil. That simply means you say what you mean and do what you say – all in a good way, though.
3. Give Them Space To Miss You
How to be hard to get is to give them some space to miss you. Sometimes, when you are readily available, some people might take you for granted and even not value you.
And the last thing you need is to receive that kind of treatment. So, it won’t be a bad idea if you go away for some time.
Moreover, you could decide not to either respond to their messages or call for a season so that they will feel your absence.
By the way, you shouldn’t shut them out entirely because that may suggest that you are not interested.
One of the reasons most people suggest you give them space is so they won’t abuse the privilege given to them.
Because the truth is, when the value of someone is unknown, people tend to misbehave. So advocating given them space ensures that such things do not happen to you.
But unfortunately, some people still will never get it.
Furthermore, no one fully knows the heart of humans, and some will still misbehave when you are dating.
So you can still apply this while in a relationship with your spouse.
But the truth is, a person who will respect your presence will do that no matter what.
But, if you still want to keep them on their toes and have them chasing you, add a little distance into the mix occasionally.
Or maybe make plans for the weekend that don’t involve them. This will give them time to realize they’d rather be with you than anywhere else!
4. Say No To Some Dates
If a person likes you and wants to go out with you, they will want to spend time with you often. So, they will always look for opportunities for you two to go on dates.
However, that’s not abnormal, but if you want to play hard to get, you can do that by saying no to them.
Moreover, the goal is to pass a message that says, “I am not readily available always for your dates,” even though you may want to spend time with them.
When a new person comes into your life, you can tell after a few meetings whether you like them or not.
Besides, if you genuinely want them, there is a high tendency that you will always look forward to your next meeting.
But if you don’t like them, it is easier to say no to them.
The problem comes when a part of your heart wants to say yes to every date, but the other half still wants to say no.
You are then left in a war between your thoughts. The truth is, most of us go through this phase if we genuinely like them.
But you can still say no to them politely because the aim is to keep them on their toes. After all, you want them to want you more and not ultimately chase them away.
How to play hard to get is to say no to some dates politely. But never make the mistake of turning down all their efforts to get you to say yes to dinner or something else.
But, of course, you can only do that if you don’t like them, or you could tell them to their face that whatever they have in mind won’t work because there is no need for you both to waste your time on something that won’t yield fruits.
However, if they still choose to stick around, hoping that you will have a change of mind, that’s their business and not yours.
5. Let Him Know That You Are Not Rushing To Find Love
Most people assume a person is looking for love when single, but that may not be the case because people choose to be single with different motives behind their choices.
But of course, there is sometimes that feeling of past relationships going wrong, which may be a reason.
Another reason could be that the person just wants to enjoy the blessing that comes with singleness.
Or better yet, focus on their career or some other project.
So walking around and assuming that everyone who is not in a relationship is searching for love isn’t entirely correct.
But you may meet somebody that you might enjoy their company, which may influence your decision on whether or not to stay single, but you don’t know how to go about it.
However, this could be the best time to play hard to get while you try to process your feelings and weigh your options.
But at the same time, you could still tell them that you are in no rush to find love. This further adds a twist to the whole how-to-play hard-to-get thing.
For instance, you might be out with friends or all by yourself, and a stranger comes to say hi.
At that point, after a few drinks and a lengthy chat, you can tell if you like them or not.
So, they may also like you, but that shouldn’t be where it ends. Because of their interest in you, they may inquire about your love life.
So the thing is, when a person asks about your love life, the chances are that they want to be a part of it all.
So therefore, you can politely let them know you are single by choice, not because there are no suitors, but for some reason, you just want to be open to having them around as friends.
So what you just did, was successfully tell them that you are not rushing to find love because you are single. Indeed, this will give you more time to play hard to get.
6. Don’t Stop Talking To Your Male Friends
This is another way to play hard to get if you are a female and another dude is trying to get your attention.
Some guys feel like just because they like you, they should automatically take the top spot in your life or, on rare occasions, be the only guy in your life.
So my plea to any guy reading this now is to do away with that mindset immediately. The reason is that the idea is wrong and unreal because no girl will ever do that.
What about those who are dating already? Well, dating someone doesn’t necessarily mean you should stop talking to your male friends.
What if your male friends had been in your life before you started dating? Cutting all forms of communication with them will be considered unreasonable.
However, if you and your male friends have healthy boundaries, it helps keep the relationship safe and defined.
Also, as humans, we need interactions daily to go about our lives, and simply ditching almost every one of our male friends because our partner says so suggests that we don’t value their friendship anymore.
But other than that, if you want to increase his attraction to you fast, especially if his interest and appeal to you are at an all-time high, this is the move he needs.
Meanwhile, this will tell him that you can also form connections with other people and male folks inclusive.
7. Text Or Behave Like A High-Value Woman
People relate with you based on the energy you give them or how they see you behave.
So if you want to know how to play hard to get, beyond texting like a high-value woman, act like one or be one.
People often tend to respect people they perceive to be classy, and the reason is quite simple.
For example, if you were to approach the president’s daughter, I am sure you’d do that carefully because of who she is.
But, if you were to approach another random girl, you might not be as careful as you were with the president’s daughter.
So what’s the reason? You convinced yourself that one was a high-value girl while the other wasn’t. Hence you were a bit loose with the other girl.
But sometimes, the outward appearance can be deceptive, and the only way to tell if a person is really who they say they are is to get closer to them.
And once they get closer to you, act and text like a high-value woman.
Men woo women for different reasons, and one of those reasons is their beauty.
So if he comes around asking for nudes or talking dirty, your reply should communicate how different you are from other females everywhere.
And by projecting the aura of a high-value woman, you do more than just get him looking at you.
You’ll have him needing you because he will wonder what type of a lady are you.
Also, men choose women they are fascinated with, and these women stir up a sense of excitement and desire to chase them through what they say in their texts or how they act.
8. Don’t Change Your Life For Him
Changing your life for someone means a lot and is not as easy as it sounds. A lot will go away, and new things or people will come in, just to mention a few.
But when we genuinely like someone, we are more than willing to take the risk to do the unthinkable just to please them.
I think this isn’t bad, but if you want to play hard to get, I suggest you get your foot off the gas pedal.
You become easy to get when you are willing to change everything for a man because you want to win his heart or attention.
And like I earlier stated in one of the points, they may take advantage of that. So you don’t have to cancel your plans with your friends just to be with him.
Nor should you have to dress sophisticatedly if you just want to dress casual and simple. You should be able to tell him that you are your own person.
But never say to him that all of that is just because you are playing hard to get.
Men perceive to respect or want a woman more when she stays true to who she is.
So if you want him to value you more, show him who you really are and stay that way.
Trying to impress him can make him lose his attraction for you because some men like it when a woman plays hard to get.
To succeed in relationships, you must know how to behave around the opposite gender.
Because there is something that speaks louder than words, and they are called actions.
Learning how to play hard to get is not entirely wrong, so long as you are not toying with the person’s emotions beyond usual.
Meanwhile, in all that you do, ensure you create a balance.
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