If you want to know the signs of a controlling boyfriend, this article will enlighten you about some of the characters to look out for. I cannot tell you all of them, but I will let you know some major ones. So how does that sound?
As adults, we all have a mind of ours, but what then happens when one person tries to exert power over the other? Or perhaps choose to be domineering? That won’t be a healthy atmosphere, nor would love to thrive in that environment.
Things evident in a controlling relationship are fear, loss of identity, emotional blackmail, and other wrongs. So in other to avoid such from happening to you, it is essential to know the signs of a controlling boyfriend.
Too often, many people neglect the early signs of a controlling boyfriend and end up getting into the relationship, only to regret it later. However, many who see these signs at first always think they can change their partner.
However, they fail to realize that change doesn’t always happen that way. The little streams we neglect will eventually turn into rivers we cannot cross over as the relationship progresses.
So, in any case, look for the subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend before committing for the long haul. So join me as I shed more light on some signs of a controlling boyfriend.
Signs Of A Controlling Boyfriend
1. Social Isolation
No matter how hard a person tries to hide this, it always finds its way out, especially if they were once the party’s life. So it will be easy to tell if they still attend social gatherings because the change will be as clear as day.
Well, you will notice that something isn’t right with them, and that is because of the issue they are facing in their relationship.
In worst cases, they may even boycott any form of invitation handed to them simply because they want peace to reign in their relationship. But does that brings peace? Certainly not! The more you give them, the more they will want to take, which is the fact.
At worst, this might lead to depression; in severe cases, suicide may follow. So if you notice a friend of yours is increasingly becoming distant, kindly reach out to them. So this is one of the signs of a controlling boyfriend.
2. He’s The Center Of Your World And Doesn’t Allow Others To Infiltrate It
Perhaps you might think this is love at first until he gets physical with you. So many times, we see things like this, but we call it love.
How can someone want to be all you will ever need? That is practically impossible. Most times, they start with a subtle move.
They begin by cutting the ties between you and your family member, and afterward, they do the same with your close friends.
For some folks, this might sound sweet at first until he complains about you being with a particular friend or family member too often.
Although, this may not come from you not giving him attention. Maybe that is when you will see that he is up to something creepy.
To anyone that dares to come close enough, even after you have given in, he may threaten them without your knowledge. Countless times, this has happened.
So at the beginning of a relationship, please do not neglect the warning signs of a controlling boyfriend because it will be to your peril eventually.
3. He Puts You Down
What is more demoralizing than this? I cannot think of anything more than that, so we must consider it. Why would someone who has your best interest at heart put you down in the first place? It sure doesn’t sit right with me.
All I see is a controlling boyfriend trying to have you right where he wants you to be. First of all, he will want to strip you of your confidence so that you will rely on him.
As humans, we all have our shortcomings, and there are days when they become so evident. Nonetheless, on such days,
whether it is in public or private, your partner is supposed to have your back. But if he doesn’t do that, you might just have someone who can’t wait to tear you down in public.
This will strip you of your confidence because they will make you feel stupid in front of everyone and criticize your every move.
This is not what a partner is supposed to do. So one of the signs of a controlling boyfriend is this one right here.
4. He Wants To Know Everything About You And Stalks You
Most of the things mentioned here sound pleasant and harmless until it begins to irk you. Or perhaps you find out about his ulterior motive and begin to wonder, “how did I get this all wrong?”
At first, there might be nothing wrong in the first few days, but as things progress, it might become somewhat of a problem when he begins to ask you questions about your interactions online.
One of the signs of a controlling boyfriend is his nosy attitude. He will want to know who you are chatting with or why you are chatting with the person.
Some even go as far as cloning your entire phone to theirs, just so that they can secretly keep tabs on you at all times.
Can that still be termed as love? It is excellent for one’s spouse to want to know everything but at what point doesn’t it migrate into something else that is unacceptable?
5. He Doesn’t Like It When You Have Fun Without Him
We can’t always have fun with our spouses all the time because we can’t always be where they are. Some days we may travel without them, maybe to see our family members or even for a business trip, or we could decide to go back to school in a different city.
So, anything could happen, and you both are apart for a while. So what then happens when you are both miles apart? Does life stop, or will you say no to anything that will make you have fun and enjoy yourself without your partner? Well, I wouldn’t advise that you do that.
But, at some point, independence in relationships is welcomed. And I totally agree. So one of the signs of a controlling, manipulative boyfriend is his inability to be happy for you when you are having fun without him.
Sometimes, he may express his displeasure aggressively or subtly. He may make you feel it is wrong to have fun without him simply because he wants to control everything about you.
Those who will aggressively show how they feel may result in even physical altercations because of their displeasure. But, on the other, could your boyfriend be jealous? This is also part of the signs of a jealous, controlling boyfriend.
6. He Is Always Jealous
I honestly do not pray for anyone to be in a relationship with someone very jealous. We all have an ounce of jealousy, but how we control it makes the difference.
Also, a level of trust will help keep your partner’s sanity from being jealous and acting insensitive.
But if your boyfriend is always jealous, this suggests he doesn’t trust you enough around other people. Or he feels his place in your life is threatened.
Otherwise, why would anyone be jealous? Your response might be, “perhaps, he just wants me all to himself.” For now, that might sound romantic until he says, “don’t answer any call ever again from that person.” Maybe that is when you might begin to think differently.
It is said that jealousy can be a powerful and painful emotion, and this negative emotion can end almost any relationship.
However, if left untreated, jealousy can create a permanent wedge between you and your partner while negatively affecting future relationships. So people with intense issues of jealousy don’t last long in relationships.
There are many signs of a controlling boyfriend, and this is one of them you should watch out for.
7. He Cripples You
Why on earth would anyone do this to a person they love? Isn’t true love kind? Or have we lost touch with the true definition of love? If so, therein lies the tragedy of this generation of lovebirds.
He derives pleasure in you absolutely depending on him for everything, whether small or big. It is another way of saying he takes you to a place where you can’t do anything important or less important without him.
In a healthy relationship, two people rely on each other for support and love. Whereas in an unhealthy relationship, this trait is absent.
Furthermore, in a healthy relationship, both persons can express their emotions and needs and find ways to make the relationship beneficial.
But in this case, it will benefit him alone because his pleasure comes when he sees you are disabled.
8. He Is Never At Fault
Is there anyone that is always right at all times in life? Indeed, everyone, at some point, will be at fault. But when you increasingly find yourself saying “sorry” a lot, even though you are not entirely at fault or don’t know what you have done wrong.
This might suggest that you just might be with a partner who is skilled at guilt-tripping you. Sometimes, it is not about who is right or wrong.
Instead, it is about doing what is best for your relationship. But at the same time, they should be able to meet you halfway to save things from falling apart.
If he refuses to do that or admit he is at fault, that is a part of the signs of a controlling boyfriend. People who want to have all the power in a relationship often turn their flaws on their partner, making them feel like they are the ones with the problem.
They also have this image of perfection they always try to portray to their spouse and the world. So they stay in control by showing you your flaws, telling you that you are too critical or not even committed, and they hide their flaws.
9. He Has Different Principles For You And Him
Usually, when this happens, it is a sign that you have a controlling person for a partner. For example, he doesn’t like it when you hang out with a few of your friends.
But when he meets his friends, even the ones you strongly dislike, he makes it seem like you are the one who doesn’t understand his friends.
If you have complained about this, but he often downplays your complaints, this is a sign you are with a controlling boyfriend.
Other times, he might even make you act against your will and choose his principles over yours. This is also a dangerous warning bell ringing.
10. He Takes Decisions In Your Life
In healthy relationships, couples sit together to find what’s best for the relationship. Likewise, when one partner needs advice, a good partner offers their opinions on the subject matter. However, it is never forced on the other partner.
If your partner makes decisions for you without your consent or approval, that might be problematic to some. At first, it may seem like he is always around to help you make up your mind. Well, very soon, you will see that he is the one manipulating you and making all the decisions for you.
Furthermore, even if you force your way through and make decisions yourself, he will find fault in them and tell you how wrong you are.
Although, you know you are right! His goal is to get you where you think you cannot make any decisions without his advice.
It is essential not to ignore warning bells when they are ringing. No matter how loving it might all look, it is necessary to look deep beyond the superficial layer.
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