Navigating the Christian dating world can be exciting and challenging, but with the right guidance, you can build a strong, faith-centred relationship. Interestingly, this article aims to help you with the biblical way to go about dating, even in our modern world.
The one challenge most Christian singles usually have regarding dating is whether to go about dating the world’s way or to follow the principles taught by the Bible. In my experience, this is one of the significant challenges Christian singles face. However, they forget that dating for Christians isn’t a casual fling.
Why this confusion, one may be tempted to ask. Does that mean the Bible is entirely silent regarding dating, or does it mean that there is no biblical dating standard? Sadly, this shows that many have grown up in church without growing up and knowing Jesus Christ, hence the reason for the confusion.
Shall we examine a few important things about Christian dating?
Is The Bible Silent About Dating?
“What does the Bible say about dating?” is one of the questions Christians who find themselves confused about what principle to apply to their dating usually ask. Should I practice what I see in the world or adhere to what the Bible teaches?
The Bible does not specifically address the modern concept of dating as it is understood today. However, it does provide principles and guidance on relationships, love, and marriage, which can be applied to dating. Here are a few fundamental biblical principles that can be relevant to dating:
- Pursuing Righteousness
The Bible encourages believers to pursue righteousness and godly living in all aspects of life, including relationships. This means seeking to honour God in how one treats and interacts with a potential partner (1 Timothy 4:12, Philippians 4:8). - Purity
Sensual purity is emphasised throughout the Bible. Christians are called to abstain from sensual immorality and to honour God with their bodies (1 Corinthians 6:18-20, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5). - Love and Respect
The Bible teaches that love should be patient, kind, and not self-seeking (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). In dating, this means treating the other person with respect and kindness and considering their well-being. - Equally Yoked
The Bible advises against being “unequally yoked” with unbelievers, which means that Christians should ideally seek relationships with others who share their faith and values (2 Corinthians 6:14). - Wisdom and Discernment
The Bible encourages believers to seek wisdom and discernment in all decisions, including those about relationships. This involves prayer, seeking counsel from trusted Christian mentors, and being cautious about rushing into relationships (Proverbs 3:5-6, James 1:5). - Commitment and Intent
While the Bible does not outline a specific dating process, it does highlight the importance of commitment and the seriousness of marital vows (Ephesians 5:25-33, Hebrews 13:4). Dating with the intent of finding a lifelong partner rather than casual relationships aligns more closely with biblical values.
While the Bible does not provide explicit instructions about dating, these principles can guide Christians in making wise and godly relationship decisions.
1. Prioritise Your Faith
The word “prioritise” means treating something as very or most important. The essence of being a Christian is to keep your faith, as the Apostle Paul taught us in 2 Timothy 4:7. So when it comes to Christian dating, prioritising one’s faith shouldn’t be up for debate.
Prioritising your faith in a Christian relationship means placing your commitment to God and your spiritual growth at the centre of your relationship. It also means ensuring your relationship strengthens your faith rather than distracts from it.
To do that successfully, this involves several vital practices and attitudes, such as shared spiritual goals and values, seeking God’s guidance in prayer, maintaining purity and integrity, demonstrating Christ-like love, forgiveness and grace, and regular self-examination and growth, which includes spiritual check-ins.
In summary, prioritising faith in a Christian relationship means integrating these practices into daily life, ensuring that the relationship glorifies God and helps individuals grow closer to Him and each other.
2. Set Boundaries
Just because we are Christians doesn’t mean that we are immune from falling into sin, especially sensual sin. However, we can repent, be forgiven and set boundaries with the help of the Holy Spirit so that we don’t become used to being on the ground. But to avoid falling into that in the first place, set boundaries early.
Honestly admitting and knowing your weaknesses or triggers will help you and your partner set boundaries. These boundaries will help protect you from the temptation to sin. It works in a way that avoids giving you the room or opportunity to indulge in sinful acts.
Establish physical, emotional, and spiritual boundaries early to maintain purity and honour God’s design for relationships. To do all of those, discuss your limits openly and stick to them.
Christian dating can be exciting if we stick to the principles of the Bible.
3. Seek Compatibility
One of the significant reasons many avoidable challenges generally arise in relationships is that both partners neglect this rule. What is compatibility if this is an important rule that should not be overlooked?
Compatibility in a relationship is a multifaceted concept encompassing various aspects of your life. It involves how well you and your partner align and your potential for long-term success as a couple.
This includes shared traits, interests, values, and goals, as well as your communication and interaction styles. Compatible partners can navigate challenges together and maintain a harmonious relationship with minimal conflict.
Beyond the lady’s beauty or the gentleman’s handsome face or cute physique (which are also vital), look for a partner who shares your beliefs and values. Besides, never forget that spiritual and physical compatibility is crucial for a harmonious relationship. This is what biblical dating entails.
4. Communicate Openly And Honestly
Communication entails both speaking and listening effectively. However, the Bible does encourage Christian believers to be careful of how they hear and to let their words be gracious and seasoned with salt whenever they speak. This should tell you that the Bible is intentional about every aspect of life, including our communication.
Sound communication is vital for the success of any romantic relationship. As often said, clear and honest communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. It enables partners to express their feelings, needs, and desires, fostering trust, understanding, and respect.
This type of communication helps couples resolve conflicts or reduce misunderstandings, strengthen their emotional connection, and strengthen trust. In a nutshell, the importance of clear and honest communication cannot be overemphasized.
Also, be honest about your faith, feelings, expectations, and boundaries from the beginning of the relationship. Again, it is worth reminding us that clear communication helps build trust and mutual understanding. So, it will be wise of you to establish a habit of discussing feelings, expectations, and concerns.
If you follow these principles, you will realise that dating as a Christian isn’t so difficult after all.
5. Seek Accountability
Seeking accountability is an integral part of a good dating tip for Christians because it aligns with the values of integrity, honesty, and mutual respect central to Christian teachings. There are several reasons why accountability is significant in a Christian dating context, and here are a few.
It helps to promote honesty and transparency, encourages purity and boundaries, fosters spiritual growth, builds community support, prevents isolation and secrecy, encourages mutual responsibility, and ensures alignment with Christian values.
Choosing trustworthy accountability partners to help us in the journey is always a welcome idea. They could be friends, mentors, or church leaders who can provide guidance and support, share your values and have your best interests at heart.
The best part is that by seeking accountability, Christians can ensure their dating relationships are healthy, respectful, and aligned with their faith, ultimately honouring God and building a solid foundation for the future. This is what Christian dating should look like.
6. Maintain Purity
This is by far one of the most significant means the devil uses to fight many Christians today. Purity has become a word foreign to the experience of many Christian believers who are in relationships. Many argue about the purpose of dating. Some say it is to verify if both individuals are compatible, and that also includes making love.
Sadly, many have given heed to “seducing spirits”, as the Bible puts it in 1 Timothy 4:1-5. The Bible does not endorse having a sensual relationship with one who is not your lawfully wedded partner. I have yet to see a scripture passage from the Bible supporting the act commonly practised in our day.
Interestingly, Jesus took the bar higher in one of his teachings, saying, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” This speaks of how highly Jesus supports purity.
Freely discuss and agree on boundaries regarding physical intimacy. It is best not to give the devil room to lure you into sin. Flee! Lastly, just because purity in romantic relationships is a foreign concept to people of the world, it shouldn’t be to Christian believers.
7. Avoid Unequally Yoked Relationships
These days, the devil doesn’t need to bring an individual outside the Christian fold. He only packages a wolf in sheep’s clothing who thinks himself highly. This means that even among those who profess to be Christians, discernment must be employed for one to stay safe in dating because there are many so-called Christians who aren’t really of Christ.
Avoiding unequally yoked relationships is a concept derived from the Bible, specifically 2 Corinthians 6:14, which states, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
This verse and its broader principle offer guidance for Christians in choosing their relationships, particularly romantic ones. So, what does this mean, and why is it vital?
or better understanding, a yoke is a wooden crosspiece fastened over the necks of two animals and attached to a plough or cart they are to pull together. Being “yoked” implies working together closely, in tandem. In a spiritual context, being “yoked” refers to being closely bound or partnered with another person in such a way that their beliefs and actions significantly influence you.
Some benefits of avoiding unequally yoked relationships are faith alignment, shared values and goals, that is, having a common foundation in faith, mutual spiritual growth, and avoiding conflict and compromise.
The truth is that a relationship with someone who does not share the same faith as yours can lead to significant disputes over fundamental beliefs, moral choices, and lifestyle decisions. It can also create pressure to compromise on one’s faith and values.
8. Get Involved in Church Activities
Involving yourselves in church activities beyond just the average attendance to fulfil all righteousness is a brilliant step. This helps couples stay close to those of the household of faith.
Participate in church events, volunteer opportunities, and small groups to meet like-minded individuals and grow in your faith together.
9. Keep Christ At The Centre
If Christians want to model their relationship after biblical relationships, Christ must be at the centre of everything. This is the essence of being a Christian.
Make Christ the cornerstone of your relationship by regularly studying the Bible together and seeking to grow spiritually as a couple. Remember that Christianity is a way of life, which means all you do in your life must be grounded in the Scripture.
10. Embrace Forgiveness And Grace
Dating as a Christian will require that at any point your partner offends you, whether knowingly or not, you should forgive them. However, forgiving them doesn’t mean you weren’t hurt, nor does it endorse their wrong or hurtful act. The truth is that practising forgiveness and showing grace are vital components for maintaining healthy and enduring relationships.
One of the things the Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 about love is that it keeps no record of wrongs. So, if we want to model our relationship after biblical teachings, we must practice forgiveness in our relationships. We can only heal and move forward when we forgive each other, and that will create a positive cycle.
As you already know, offences are inevitable, and if they are, it also means that forgiving each other’s wrongs should also be done often. In other words, forgiveness sets a precedent that encourages the other person to forgive and let go of grievances, creating a cycle of mutual forgiveness and understanding.
Similarly, grace cultivates a positive atmosphere where kindness and patience are reciprocated, enhancing the overall dynamic of the relationship. This is what Christian dating entails. Always remember that relationships require grace, understanding, and a willingness to work through challenges together.
Lastly, when conflict springs up, it should be addressed with a forgiving heart and a willingness to understand. After all, we all make mistakes. Practising forgiveness and showing grace are not just acts of kindness but essential practices that sustain a relationship’s health, growth, and depth. They allow both individuals to navigate challenges constructively, creating a stronger and more resilient bond.
11. Seek God’s Will
As Christians, we shouldn’t do things without first seeking the will of God. True worship entails being in the will of God at all times. How can you be in the will of God if you don’t seek Him?
As wonderful as dating is, we must first seek his will before we begin. Is it time I start dating, or should I wait? For instance, if God’s will for you at the moment is to wait on Him to address one form of weakness you have so that the devil doesn’t take advantage of it in your relationship to ruin you, you will only know that when you seek His will.
Seeking God’s direction in your dating life isn’t optional. How do you do this? Incorporate prayer into your decision-making process about your relationship, and wait for the Lord’s response. Why wait for His response, as you might ask? Trust that He has an excellent plan for your life and your relationships.
12. Be Patient
Anything that doesn’t require patience but haste may likely put you in problems. It is often better to take your time to get to know each other because rushing into a relationship can lead to overlooking essential compatibility issues. Scattered across different books in the Bible are teachings on the need to be patient.
Allowing a relationship to develop naturally holds significant value for several reasons, contributing to its authenticity, stability, and overall health. When a relationship develops naturally, it allows for genuine connections to form. Both partners can be their authentic selves without feeling pressured to fit into specific roles or expectations.
13. Respect Each Other’s Journey
Understanding that everyone is at a different place in their faith journey is something we should strongly remember. If you genuinely love and care for your partner, you will encourage each other’s growth without judgment or pressure.
Respecting each other’s faith journey in a Christian relationship is essential for fostering a loving, supportive, and harmonious partnership. Not only will it strengthen the relationship and promote empathy and understanding, but it will also reflect Christ’s love.
In a nutshell, respecting each other’s faith journey in Christian dating is crucial for nurturing a supportive, loving, and spiritually enriched partnership. It also builds trust, understanding, and unity, allowing both individuals to grow closer to each other and God.
14. Build A Friendship First
For the most part, being friends will significantly impact the outcome of things after everything is said and done. This is why I advised you earlier to be patient instead of rushing.
Focus on developing a solid friendship as the foundation of your relationship because this helps create a deeper, more meaningful connection. So, engage in activities that strengthen your bond as friends. Only then can true love grow.
15. Be Open To Grow
The teachings of the Bible admonishes us to grow. However, we can only grow if we are open to the concept of growth. It is vital to have this mindset because there is a type of mindset a Christian should have. And it is none other than the mind of Christ as seen in Philippians 2:5.
If you have yet to start dating, look for someone who encourages and shares your values on growth, encourages you, and pushes you to be a better person. On the other hand, if you are already in a relationship, I sure hope you and your partner are open to growth in Christ.
There are excellent Christian dating sites and apps like the Christian Mingle app, Your Christian Date – Dating, Christian Dating For Singles and a whole lot more.
By incorporating these 15 best dating tips, individuals can cultivate relationships honouring God and fostering spiritual, emotional, and relational health. Emphasising the importance of shared faith, mutual respect, and clear communication lays a strong foundation for a meaningful connection.
Furthermore, practising purity, patience, and self-control, as guided by biblical principles, ensures the relationship grows healthy and godly. This is the foundation of biblical courtship.
Ultimately, these tips aim to help individuals navigate their dating journey with wisdom, grace, and a deep commitment to their faith, leading to relationships that reflect God’s love and purpose.
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