Can a guy fake love for a girl, and if so, what could the signs be? Signs he pretends to love you should be what you should look into if your instincts tell you his love for you is fake. But then, how would you know? That’s the big question.
It is common these days for guys to fake loving a girl, and that’s a bitter pill to swallow. However, it is imperative for ladies to know these things and the signs that suggest that he is pretending to love you. Trust me, it will save you from heartbreak and being played.
While many may be in a relationship where the boyfriend pretends to love his girlfriend, a relationship with unrequited love may look the same. But, taking a deeper look, you will notice some striking differences. So, today, we will examine some key signs he pretends to love you. In a nutshell, knowing the difference between both is essential.
Why Do People Pretend To Love?
While someone can pretend to love another person, sustaining that facade for an extended period can be challenging. The puzzling question is why do people choose to do it in the first place. What’s even more funny is that some even justify their reasons for their actions.
Genuine love typically involves emotional investment, empathy, and care for the other person’s well-being. On the other hand, faking these feelings can be emotionally exhausting, often leading to inconsistencies or insincerity that the other person can eventually detect. If it is emotionally exhausting, why do people still choose that route?
People can sometimes deceive others about their feelings, especially if they have ulterior motives or are trying to manipulate someone. In other words, people often pretend to love others for reasons usually tied to personal gain, societal expectations, or emotional manipulation. That’s how cold the streets can be, dear folks.
- Manipulation
Some individuals may feign love to manipulate others for personal advantages, such as financial gain, social status, or control over the other person. These are some of the main reasons people do it despite the entire act being emotionally exhausting.
- Social Expectations
This is another leading reason people pretend to love their partners. I have interacted with some married couples who have had to confront this truth. Sometimes, societal or cultural norms may pressure people into conforming to certain relationship expectations, leading them to fake love to maintain appearances or fulfil societal roles, such as in arranged marriages or for family approval
- Fear Of Being Alone Or Loneliness
What else can I say? Many of us have been there before. The fear of loneliness or the desire for companionship might lead someone to pretend to love another person, even if their feelings are not genuine, simply to avoid being alone. The truth is, we all want to be boo’d up as Ella Mai sang.
- Avoidance Of Conflicts
In some cases, individuals may fake love to avoid confrontation or uncomfortable conversations, such as breaking up with a partner or ending a relationship that has run its course. I bet you never thought about it this way. I have had couples stay in relationships that have run their course, but because of this, they move on like all is well.
- Social Pressure
In most cases, pressure from family, friends, or societal expectations can compel individuals into relationships or marriages they’re not genuinely invested in, leading them to fake love to maintain appearances.
A large number of people fall into this category. After many years, this is where thoughts like, “Did he really love me?” or “he never liked me, did he?” always run through your mind because of the reality of things in the relationship.
While finding out later can be devastating, trusting your instincts and observing your partner’s actions over time is essential to discern the authenticity of their feelings for you.
1. He Wants A Secret Relationship
If you have noticed, I didn’t use the word “private”; instead, I used “secret.” Why? They are not the same thing. Often, many individuals mistake private relationships for secret ones and vice versa. A secret relationship and a private one may seem similar on the surface, but they have distinct differences in intent, communication, and transparency.
- A secret relationship and a private one may seem similar on the surface, but they have distinct differences in intent.
One of the signs he pretends to love you is if he insists on having a secret relationship instead of a private one. What’s one vital difference? The key distinction lies in the level of concealment.
In a secret relationship, one or both parties actively hide the relationship from others, often due to fear of judgment, social norms, or other external factors like you just being his side chick in this context. In contrast, a private relationship involves discretion and a deliberate choice to keep certain aspects of the relationship within the confines of the couple without actively deceiving others.
2. You Don’t Know Your Place In His Life
When a woman feels unsure about her role or place in her partner’s life, she may grapple with various questions and uncertainties. Questions like, “Where do I stand?” “Am I valued and appreciated?” “Is he committed to me?” “Does he love me?” will always run through her mind.
If you do not know your place in his life, it may suggest that he is pretending to love you. When a man truly loves a woman, she becomes the centre of his world. To buttress this, here is a part of the lyrics from Michael Bolton’s song “When A Man Loves A Woman.”
“When a man loves a woman
Can’t keep his mind on nothin’ else
He’d trade the world
For the good thing he’s found.”
I hope tha drives home my point.
3. Physical Intimacy Is More Important For Him
There are many signs he pretends to love you, but one of the apparent signs is when physical intimacy is more important for him than anything else.
In other words, it’s one of the first things on his list. This might sound harsh, but it is probably one of the first things he thinks of when he sees or talks to you over the phone. In such a relationship, he sees you as a toy to gratify his needs in the bedroom.
4. He Is Only Interested If He Can Get Something
A guy can pretend to love a girl if he stands to gain something from her. This was one of the things we explored earlier. However, once the gold mine is empty, he moves on to his next target.
In other words, it can be safe to consider such a guy as a gold digger. If he is only interested in you when he has something to gain, this should tell you what kind of a guy he is.
5. His Body Language Is Not Consistent With What He Is Saying
Most people who pretend to love their partners usually get it wrong in this area because it isn’t easy to always do this. It is easy to spot a lie because, most of the time, our bodies betray us.
So, when he tells you he loves you, what is his body language like? If you haven’t considered this, look closely at his body language the next time he tells you he loves or compliments you.
Body language is hard to fake. So when he is being insincere, his body will give you clues. On the other hand, you just have to watch out for them. After all, no one is really conscious of what their body is doing most of the time.
6. He Isn’t Consistent With His Actions And Words
One of the signs he is forcing himself to love you is when his words and actions aren’t aligned. This should tell you he is struggling to keep up with the lies. Sadly, when a person is inconsistent with their actions and words, it means that there is a discrepancy or lack of alignment between what they say and what they do.
On the other hand, if he loves you to some degree, his consistency will show you that. That’s because consistency is a vital characteristic that indicates strong belief or emotion.
7. He’s Putting People Above You
Are you still seeking signs he pretends to love you? How about when others in his life always come before you? That should tell you all you need to know because the proof of love is in the value we place on the person.
So, if he says he loves you, you should come before other people, and it shouldn’t be the other way around. Furthermore, if he says he loves you, it means you are his priority.
8. He Doesn’t Care When He Disappoints You
One of the signs he pretends to love you will be shown when he feels no remorse after disappointing you. If you have been unsure about everything, this should undoubtedly tell you that he’s never loved you.
- One of the proofs of love is absolute care.
One of the proofs of love is absolute care. So if he doesn’t care when he’s at fault or stood you up after you were supposed to go out for dinner, honey, he has little or no regard for you.
9. He Cheats On You
Why be in a relationship with someone who repeatedly cheats on you? How often does he have to do that before you know he doesn’t love or cherish you? What number does he have to get to before you know it is not a game anymore? One of the proofs of love is fidelity.
In a nutshell, if he cheats on you, it is a sign he has always pretended to love. Well, now, he just got tired of pretending. So, that means this is the real him.
10. There Is No Future Vision
When a guy loves a girl, one thing is sure: he wants her to be a part of his future. In contrast, when he pretends to love you, there is no future vision with you in it. Ladies, men know what they want.
If you have been asking him about his plans for the future and he mostly deflects or answers vaguely, chances are you don’t have a place in his future.
So, why should he include you in his plans when he doesn’t consider you a part of his future? It is like an actor expecting to be a part of a movie after the director might have stated that he wouldn’t need his service. A woman often sees the signs he pretends to her, but then she convinces herself otherwise because she loves him.
11. Forgets Special Dates And Occasions
Part of the signs he pretends to love you is when he constantly forgets special dates and occasions that matter to you. This should immediately tell you where you stand in his life. I get that we sometimes forget certain things because we are humans.
But if it is now a pattern, this should communicate his true intentions to you, or at least where you stand in his life.
How about when he fails to meet up or finally makes it but makes no effort on special occasions? It is all the same thing, girl. If he loves you from his heart, he will make time on dates that matter to you. His actions and words will tell you all you need to know.
12. He Seems Bored When He’s With You
When a guy is with a lady he genuinely loves, his actions around her will tell her what’s truly in his heart – I mean, it’s hard to fake. Truth be told, when men love, they give it their all.
When a man loves his lady, he can’t wait to spend time with her. Why? Because she is the love of his life. So, if you start noticing your partner being distant or bored when you are together, accept that his heart no longer beats for you.
One of the most painful realisations would be when he says he would rather play video games than spend quality time with you.
- The true nature of love supports.
13. He Shows No Support
When a man loves a woman, he naturally supports her without her asking him to do that. This is because the true nature of love supports. So when a person pretends to love their partner, they may lack the empathy to offer emotional support during trying times.
So when he actively doesn’t listen, stand by you or provide comfort when you need it the most, it is a sad reality to embrace.
14. Gut Feeling
Ladies often see the signs but choose to tell themselves otherwise because they love the guy. My advice is to follow your instincts. It is your best guide in this case. So, if you feel something is strangely odd in the relationship, please don’t ignore it.
Your intuition could be tuning into subtle hints and discrepancies you haven’t fully registered consciously, nudging you to delve deeper. Relying on your instincts may unveil significant insights into the genuineness of your partner’s affection.
15. You Experience Unresponsive Communication
One of the signs he pretends to love you may be his unresponsiveness during communication. When someone pretends to love you, they might not promptly reply to your messages because you are not a priority to them. Other times, they might leave you hanging without any explanations. This often shows a lack of genuine interest in keeping the relationship alive.
What To Do If You Think He Is Pretending To Love You?
When you think your partner may be feigning affection towards you, handling the situation delicately and thoughtfully is crucial. However, here are a few approaches you could take:
- Communication Is Vital
Effective communication is essential. It is something we must never forget. So approach your partner openly and honestly, expressing your concerns calmly and non-threateningly. Additionally, share your observations and emotions, allowing them the chance to address your concerns.
- Consider Seeking Professional Help
If you find yourself grappling with the situation’s complexities, think about contacting a therapist or counsellor for assistance. Their impartial guidance can offer valuable support and create a secure space for you to delve into your emotions and thoughts.
- Observe Their Response
Observe how your partner responds to your worries; this will tell you where they stand. Do they become defensive, brush off your concerns, or engage in a sincere dialogue? Their reaction can offer valuable clues about the genuineness of their emotions, as I mentioned earlier.
- Set Boundaries
Regardless of the outcome, it’s essential to prioritise your well-being. Set boundaries that align with your needs and values, and don’t hesitate to take steps to protect yourself emotionally if necessary. Always remember that setting boundaries is beneficial.
Navigating love and its complexities can be challenging, but you could be a part of the happy ones with a fulfilled relationship. I hope these 15 signs he pretends to love you will help demystify whatever mysteries revolving around your relationship with your partner.
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