Questions to ask before marriage are a must and should be taken very seriously because marriage is a different kind of romantic relationship for those who value it.
Marriage is beautiful and so lovely. But unfortunately, many do not see it so because it has lost value in their sight due to reasons best known to them. But I am delighted that many still value that extraordinary institution.
On the other hand, many people hope to start a family someday with their significant other, which is not bad. But some aren’t ready for that type of commitment just yet.
While others want to start having kids immediately after the ceremony, some want to wait for a couple of years or months before bringing kids into the world.
So, there are many reasons why questions to ask before marriage should be taken with utmost importance to clarify many things.
In this post, we shall cover questions to ask your partner before marriage, things couples should talk about before marriage, things to talk about before marriage, things to discuss about before marriage, questions about marriage, questions to ask before marriage, questions before marriage, marriage questions, and questions for marriage.
Why Is It Vital To Ask Questions Before Marriage?
It would help if you asked questions before marriage because it will help you get to know your partner better.
And indeed, you cannot entirely know a person, but as the day goes by, you will see them for who they certainly are.
But at the same time, their answers will give you a peek into their mindset, so you will know what you are getting into before walking down the aisle to say I do.
Of course, ignorance is a killer and has never helped any situation in life, so rather than following blindly, it is best to talk and ask questions before the big day comes.
But unfortunately, many well-meaning couples do not know what to talk about when they sit together. But I hope this post will help you with that.
So start asking the right questions before marriage, so you’ll likely uncover their dreams, needs, and expectations for your life together that you hadn’t considered.
Because sometimes, we might just get carried away with our dreams that we forget to ask our partners about theirs.
And the last thing you want to do is to make them see you as a selfish person.
So questions to ask before marriage shouldn’t be neglected because of these reasons and many more.
Questions To Ask Your Partner Before Marriage
So here are some essential questions to ask before marriage.
1. Why marriage?
2. How do you handle change and the unexpected?
3. How well do we currently handle disagreements with each other?
4. How much do you value time together versus time apart?
5. Is your parent’s marriage part of your inspiration to marry?
6. Do you want kids?
7. What if we’re not able to have biological children?
8. How do you see kids fitting into our life?
9. How will you handle it if we drift apart?
10. How do you expect to cope with our sensual ebbs and flows?
11. How do you expect to meet sensual needs if I’m not meeting them?
12. How do you imagine spending the holidays?
13. What’s your take on vacations, and how often would you like to take them?
14. Do you want to save a lot early on, or save up in bursts for things like a vacation or a new TV?
15. Do you want separate bank accounts or to share all assets?
16. Do we agree on the division of labor in our house?
17. When do you feel the most loved by me?
18. How do you express love?
19. When do you feel unsafe sharing your feelings with me?
20. What memories bring the most joy when you reflect on your childhood? Which brings the most pain?
21. Do we appropriately respect our religious, spiritual, or political differences?
22. Whose career would take precedence if it became necessary?
23. Does either of us have any major secrets we haven’t yet shared?
24. Are you committed to counseling if and when we need it?
25. Where are we spending our honeymoon after our wedding ceremony?
Let’s learn to incorporate asking questions about our partner’s work into our questions to ask before marriage.
The subject of job and career is not an area to ignore before walking down the aisle.
I always tell people that money doesn’t bring true love into a relationship, but it can help create an enabling environment for true love to thrive.
You don’t want to get worked up because of financial constraints later in the future, especially when kids are in the picture.
So questions to ask before marriage should include our partner’s view on their job or career.
26. Do you enjoy your job?
27. Have you ever considered a field change?
28. Are you expected to work overtime?
29. Do you have to travel a lot? Do you make an effort to stay home as much as possible?
30. If you could change your career today, would you do it?
31. Is your work more important than your passions?
32. Are you willing to work on weekends?
33. Do you have a private pension fund? How much do you invest monthly?
34. What do you see your retirement looking like?
35. How many jobs have you quit?
36. Were you ever fired? What were the reasons?
37. Are you ambitious? Is your workplace more of a job or a career?
38. Has work interfered with your relationships before?
39. How much do you earn per month or year?
40. How important is the work ethic to you? What’s your work style?
41. How long have you been employed? Did you work during high school or only years after graduating?
42. Do you commute to work? How long does that take on average? Around when would you get home?
43. Where do you see your career in 10 years?
44. How demanding is your job?
45. Will you be willing to trade your family’s happiness to go up the corporate ladder?
46. Does work interfere with the plans you have for life?
47. How salary-driven are you?
48. Does having a demanding job support your lifestyle?
49. How supportive will you be of your partner’s career goals?
50. Do your individual career goals conflict with each other at all?
What you just read was our first set of questions to ask before marriage; every one of them is crucial to the success of your union.
However, you might feel like some of them are unimportant relative to where you are currently. But do you not know that he who fails to plan has planned to fail?
Things Couples Should Talk About Before Marriage
You sure don’t want to neglect the topic of where you both would live in questions to ask before marriage.
When I come online, I see certain people asking questions about things they should have discussed before saying I do.
Well, that only shows one thing, they neglected the weightier matters, and look where it took them.
1. What’s your ideal place to live in? Country, continent, whatever you think of.
2. What would you choose between a big city and a small town?
3. Where do you see us living? A house, an apartment? Would we rent or own it ourselves?
4. Are you handy with tools and power tools, or do you rely on professional services?
5. Is your home a place of refuge where few people are allowed, or is your door always open?
6. Is music an ever-present element in your home, or would you rather stay and do household chores in silence?
7. Do you watch TV or streaming services/VODS before going to bed?
8. Do you use your smartphone in bed before sleeping or after waking up?
9. Do you feel the need to have a spot in the house that’s just yours and no one’s allowed in there?
10. Did you ever end a relationship because you weren’t given enough space where you lived?
11. Do you want to be rich? How important is money for you?
12. Would you be ok with just you being employed among the two of us?
13. Would it be ok if you stayed at home, and only I had a job?
14. Are you in your ex’s good grace?
15. If you’d suddenly become wealthy, would you significantly change your life? If yes, how would you change it?
16. Do you have a child from a previous relationship?
17. Before we get married, do you want to have a prenuptial contract? Why yes, or why not?
18. Would you want us to set a specific amount we’re willing to spend every month?
19. Are you good with handling finances like tax? Which one of us would be doing the math?
20. Do you owe anyone, whether a person or an organization, a significant amount? Would we be paying it back together?
21. Have you ever frequented gambling places? Do you gamble presently?
22. Are you “cheap” when it comes to purchasing products or services?
23. If we’re tight on money, would you still want to put aside some cash strictly for entertainment and passions?
24. Was money a big part of your previous relationships? Did you pay for everything? Or did your partner pay for everything? Has money ever been used as a means of control in your past relationships by either side? Did you break up because of money?
25. Do you have any concepts of polygamy? Is this something you’d want?
26. What’s your education level? Are you proud of it? Do you want to increase it?
27. Are you always looking forward to learning something new?
28. Are college graduates more intelligent by default? Are being intelligent and being bright separate things?
29. Do you have a car, or is traveling by bus, tram, or subway a better option?
30. If you have a car, how important is it? Does it matter more than where you live?
31. Does it matter if your vehicle is a heavy polluter? Would you go for a greener option that’s less flashy or powerful?
32. Do you spend a lot of time washing, polishing, and generally taking care of your vehicle?
33. Are you a good driver in your eyes? Do you have speeding tickets or other such troubles?
34. Do you prefer being awake during the day or the night?
35. Are you quick to judge people?
36. Do you enjoy physical affection, or are words of appreciation and actions of love enough?
37. What’s your favorite season? Are you moody during other ones?
38. If you’ve just disagreed, do you avoid the other person in anger, or are you quick to get over it?
39. When you disagree with someone, do you tend to use arguments and debate, or do your emotions take over quickly?
40. How would you fairly assign household chores?
41. If possible, do you prefer to try and not have to do many things while others care for them?
42. Do you seek utmost freedom, or is a planned-out routine better?
43. Does not having a routine scare you? Are you afraid of uncertainty?
44. On average, how much do you sleep?
45. Is it essential to shower daily and wear new sets of clothes?
46. Can you relax for long periods without having work-related thoughts or other worries?
47. What’s one thing that immediately makes you angry?
48. What’s one thing that couldn’t ever make you angry?
49. Is there something specific that drains you of your life force?
50. What’s your opinion on cheating to achieve the desired outcome?
Things To Discuss About Before Marriage
1. Do you pay child support or alimony for them? Would I meet your child?
2. What’s that one thing which you’re good at? Better than anyone else in the world!
3. When you feel at your weakest, what do you do to cheer up or get back on your feet?
4. Do you have any phobias? Do they affect how you manage your daily life?
5. Do you believe in destiny?
6. Do you feel ready to get married? If not, then do you think that you’ll ever feel ready?
7. How well do you think that I fit in your life? Were there times when I bothered your daily routine?
8. Do you think something in your life right now would prevent us from having a happy marriage?
9. Would you instead we never do something specific in the bedroom?
10. Are you comfortable talking openly about sensual activities? If not, why’s that?
11. Are you ok with initiating a sensual act? If not, why? Can I do anything to make you more comfortable in expressing this wish?
12. Are you usually in the mood for a sensual act, or is your drive lower?
13. Have you ever been sensually abused – from improper behavior from friends or lovers to more serious things?
14. When growing up, was your family open about sensual discourse? Is it a topic you talked about with your parents? Would we, in turn, discuss it with our child if we had children?
15. Is any sensual act for you a method to relieve stress?
16. Have you ever used sensual acts to appease your partner or avoid a topic?
17. Have you been in an open relationship before?
18. How many sensual partners have you had?
19. Do you need “alone time” even if you’re sensually active regularly?
20. Is pornography a taboo subject for you?
21. Have you had sensual activities exclusively with men or women, or did you have multiple experiences in this regard?
22. Have you ever broken up with a partner because of a bad sensual experience?
23. Have you ever been uncomfortable daily in past relationships? A weird feeling in your gut that wouldn’t go away or anything else.
24. What are some insecurities caused by a past relationship?
25. Do you think you’ve caused your previous partners any insecurities? Did they expressly point out something to you?
26. When were you sure for the first time that you loved someone? Did you tell them straight away, or did you have to come to terms with it?
27. How long was your previous relationship?
28. What’s the most extended length of time you’ve been with someone? How did it end?
29. Have you been married before? Are you a widow(er)?
30. Are you willing to talk about previous partners? Or, would you instead never bring it up?
31. What are some things you’re not proud of from previous relationships?
32. Have you ever judged a partner based on what the one before them was like?
33. Did you ever go to relationship counseling or coaching with your ex?
34. Were you ever engaged? If so, why didn’t you go ahead with the marriage?
35. Did you live with your previous partners, and who did you live with?
36. Are you afraid that at some point, I’ll tell you that I no longer love you? Has this happened to you before?
37. What did your past experiences teach you? Name a few essential aspects.
38. Did you notice a recurring factor that kept leading to break-ups?
39. Do you find yourself thinking about your ex a lot?
40. Do you spend a lot of time in front of the mirror?
41. Is it essential your partner also take a lot of care of themselves?
42. If we’re together out in the town, should our outfits match?
43. Would you consider plastic surgery to “fix” something which you view as an imperfection?
44. Do you use make-up? How much? How often? How long does it take you to apply it? How much money do you spend on it?
45. Are you self-conscious about your weight?
46. Would you become angry or dissatisfied if I gained a noticeable weight?
47. Are you really in touch with fashion? How much do you spend on clothes?
48. Do you have a reasonable opinion about how you look? Are you worried your looks are going to fade with old age?
49. Did your parents use to shame you for your appearance or were they always encouraging and complimenting you? How about your peers?
50. Is there something, in particular, you dislike about yourself? Physical or otherwise.
When it comes to questions to ask before marriage, you don’t have to be shy, and one good reason is that you will be spending the rest of your life with them.
So it is better to get to the central business while you both have the liberty to decide if walking down the aisle is best for you or not because the truth is, divorce sucks.
Marriage Questions
1. Would you still love me if I suffered an accident and remained scarred? What about if I lost a limb?
2. Is strong physical attraction a necessity for you to connect deeply with someone?
3. Do you always wish to be viewed as attractive?
4. Have you gotten a haircut in the past because someone commented passingly that your hair is messy?
5. How long does it take you to get over an insult?
6. Are there people whose opinions you don’t value at all?
7. Do you generally feel self-assured? Are you willing to have a go at things you’re not that skilled at (yet)?
8. Would you say you’re a healthy person?
9. Were you ever hospitalized? If so, what for?
10. Would you be willing to have surgery if it was required?
11. Do you have any chronic conditions which require regular medication to keep under control?
12. Is taking care of yourself a mandatory principle in marriage? Do you owe it to your partner?
13. Do your parents, or extended family have serious illnesses?
14. Do you have medical insurance and dental insurance?
15. Which hospital would be your first pick if you had to be hospitalized?
16. Do you get along with your family doctor? Are they true professionals, or do you want to change them?
17. Do you have a gym membership?
18. Are you into sports? Which ones? Do you want to practice something together?
19. Is exercise a regular activity for you? Are you looking to make it part of your day?
20. Do you think a fight would end in your favor? Have you been in any disputes?
21. Are you addicted to or have to take specific medication daily?
22. Do you follow a diet or some guidelines, or do you eat whatever, whenever?
23. Have you ever had an STD? When was your last STD check?
24. Do your bones break easier than what’s considered normal?
25. Do you have any conditions which can be a daily problem, like gastrointestinal problems?
26. Does anyone in your family have mental disorders? Do you? If so, are you seeing a therapist? Do you want to start seeing a therapist?
27. Do you have any habits like smoking or drinking? If yes, how often? Is it affecting your health? How much money do you spend on such habits?
28. Do you have any health problems which interfere with your sensual life?
29. Did you ever break up with someone, or has anyone broken up with you because of health-related issues?
30. Do you want us to have children? If so, how many?
31. Would you prefer to have a boy or a girl as your first child?
32. Can you, biologically speaking, have children? If you can’t, is this a problem for you? Would it be a problem if I couldn’t have children?
33. Are children a way to feel fulfilled in life, or do you want children for other reasons?
34. If there was an accidental pregnancy, how would you react? Would you want the baby kept?
35. Who’s going to handle birth control? Me or you?
36. Is adoption a viable option for you? Do you think you could love an adopted child like it was your own?
37. Is abortion a topic for discussion, or do you strongly dislike it?
38. Are you an only child, or do you have siblings? While growing up, how did this affect you? How do you think it would affect your parenting style?
39. Is it essential to stay in touch with extended family? For example, would our child spend much time with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins?
40. Have you had or been the father of a child that was then adopted by someone else? Do you keep tabs on them
41. Is breastfeeding an appropriate activity to do outside of one’s home?
42. Should a mother, a father, or both, stay with their child for the first year of their life? For six months? Not at all
43. What type of discipline would you want us to use for our child? Spanking? Punishments? The silent treatment?
44. Are the opinions of children important? Would you talk with your child and consult them before making a family decision?
45. Is religion an important aspect of upbringing? Would you be able to handle it if our child were agnostic, an atheist, or of a different religion?
46. Would you treat your child the same if they were a boy or a girl?
47. Should girls have stricter rules than boys, especially regarding their sensual life?
48. If your teenage daughter would be open about being sensually active with you, would you punish her or advise her to use birth control or stop?
49. Is it necessary for you to like your child’s friends?
50. If you’d choose adoption, would you give your child the option to meet their birth parents? Should they even know they’re adopted?
Every time couples fail to address critical issues before marrying each other, it might haunt them later in their marriage.
So when it comes to questions to ask before marriage, if you feel it is necessary, let it out and wait for the feedback from your spouse.
Questions About Marriage
1. What’s your view on marriage disputes?
2. How would you react if your child was racially discriminated against in school? What if the discrimination was based on gender?
3. Are choices related to surgery about making it impossible to have a child strictly up to you, or should your partner agree?
4. Would you allow your child to “talk back”?
5. Did you break up because of different views about having or raising children?
6. Do you value the opinions of your parents or extended family? Are you in contact with your family?
7. Do you think your family is too intrusive in your life?
8. Do you think something in your childhood affects some of your fears, worries, or mental health?
9. What’s the most hurtful thing your parents ever said to you? What about what you said to them?
10. Have you ever felt you wanted to escape from your family?
11. Does it matter if your family likes me, or if my family likes you? Should it?
12. Did your parents fight a lot? Do they fight a lot now? How do they settle a dispute? Do you think you act in the same way? Is it a good or a bad thing?
13. When making an important decision, do you need to consult your parents first?
14. Did you need to break up with someone because of family feuds?
15. Would you say you have a best friend or multiple best friends? How did you meet? What do you appreciate most about them?
16. How often do you meet up with your friends? Do you talk regularly? Text or over the phone?
17. Do you have a close friend of the opposite gender? Would it be a problem if I did?
18. What comes first: friends or your romantic relationship?
19. Have you ever refused to help a friend in need? If so, why?
20. Is it essential for you to like my friends? Does it matter if they want you? What about your friends and me?
21. Are friends in common an important aspect?
22. Can you say “no” to your friends? Do they get upset?
23. Have you ever lost a friend because of your past relationships? What about losing a partner because of friends?
24. Do you lend your friends money? How much?
25. Do you think your friends would be there for you if you needed them?
26. Are you in any online messaging groups? Do you spend a few hours a day messaging these groups?
27. Have you ever felt a rift in communication between you and your friends?
28. Are you a political person? Do you see yourself on the left or right wing of politics? Are you liberal or conservative? Should we ever even talk about politics?
29. Were politics a subject for family talk while growing up? And would you do the same for your family too when you have one?
30. Are you in a political party? Do you expect me to join?
31. What are your thoughts on elections? Do you vote or choose to pay them no attention?
32. Do you involve yourself in activities such as marches or protests?
33. If we had completely different political opinions, do you think we’d still love each other or even get along?
34. What are your thoughts on racism, sexism, and other controversial topics? Do you think these constructs even exist or not?
35. Do you actively monitor the decisions and laws put in place by the government? Would you take action against something you opposed?
36. Have political ideologies been the factor in a break-up for you?
37. Have you ever accused someone of being a communist, nazi, or fascist? Were you ever accused?
38. Have you been part of a political rally?
39. Should people with higher incomes support or aid those that are more disfavored?
40. Do you think you’re paying too much tax? Should tax be mandatory?
41. Should military service be mandatory? Have you served?
42. Do you have relatives or friends in the military?
43. Would you want your children to have to serve in the military?
44. Should opposing parties or forces be convinced to step down through violent or non-violent methods?
45. Do you avoid certain media outlets for political reasons?
46. Can you spot fake news?
47. Do you tend to consider a particular opinion on a subject or look for multiple sources and debates?
48. Is private education a good thing, or should quality public education be available nationwide, even if it means more tax?
49. Should public healthcare be nationally available at the highest standards, or are private hospitals the way to go?
50. What are your views on having a pet?
Things To Talk About Before Marriage
1. Were you raised in a family with traditional values?
2. Do you make it a priority to popularize or speak about your ethnicity’s/background culture, and traditions?
3. Are you into pop culture
4. Is music a big part of your life, or do you rarely listen to it? What’s your favorite genre?
5. Would you prefer you were born in a different culture?
6. Do you believe there should be equity between men and women, or are some jobs and roles better filled by one of the genders?
7. What’s your opinion of racism? Should we acknowledge and celebrate the differences between races, or are there no differences?
8. Is dancing a big part of who you are? Do you express emotions and celebrate this way?
9. What’s more important: the needs of the many or the few?
10. Would you sacrifice some of your happiness & financial security to help somebody else?
11. Are you willing to respect another person’s culture and traditions even if you disagree with them?
12. Do you expect others to adjust to your own culture?
13. Are women simply better at household chores like changing a baby’s diaper? Should only men know how to handle a hammer?
14. Is it better if a woman always acts in ways approved by her husband?
15. Should people sit in a particular order and spot at family tables?
16. In your family, can anyone do any job as long as they’re good?
17. Should someone be ridiculed if they attempt to do a job considered not to be suited to their gender but fails?
18. How did your parents use to describe the difference between ethnicities?
19. Do you carry any prejudiced beliefs which you nonetheless want to hang on to?
20. Could you become friends with a member of a group which you dislike?
21. Is it a problem if you have to work with members of multiple ethnicities, cultures, and beliefs?
22. Are you aware of your biases, or do you sometimes surprise yourself with your decisions and actions?
23. What would be your reaction if your child dated someone of another nationality, ethnicity, or political views?
24. Have you had to break up with previous partners because of different views on race, ethnicity, culture, or other associated concepts?
25. How do you handle mourning? Does your family hold funerals and talk in great detail about the departed, or is silence golden?
26. Do you have a fine appreciation for food, or is it more like “fuel” for you to get through the day?
27. Do you make time to eat at a table, or are you always in a rush?
28. Are you a good cook? If not, do you expect me to cook, or are we looking at daily takeout?
29. How much money are you willing to spend on takeout?
30. What are your favorite restaurants in our area?
31. Would we pay all takeaway orders from a shared account, or each one pays for what he eats?
32. Is it necessary to eat together, or can we eat separately?
33. If you’re on a diet, should I only eat what you’re eating too?
34. Is food a reward to you? Do you expect a fancy dinner for achievement or spend the remaining funds on grander cuisine?
35. Have you ever put on too much weight because of eating irregularly?
36. Did you ever try to control what a previous partner ate so they wouldn’t put on weight?
37. Have you ever fought with previous partners because a meal was too expensive?
38. Do you think you’re a religious person, a spiritual one, an agnostic, or an atheist?
39. Do you regularly go to a place of worship?
40. Did your parents use to force you to go to religious ceremonies?
41. After you became an adult, did you change your religion?
42. Is there something after we die, or just darkness?
43. Should we share the same beliefs?
44. Do you have to respect certain restrictions because of your relationship?
45. Do you pray or engage in certain spiritual activities regularly?
46. If we had children, would you want them to be a part of your belief?
47. Has religion or spirituality caused you to break up in the past?
48. Do you ever try to get away with paying less than you should in tax?
49. Have you ever been involved with someone romantically that had been charged with criminal offenses or that engaged in illegal activities while you were together?
50. Has your home ever been broken into? Did you move afterward, or do you still live there?
I hope you enjoyed reading through these questions to ask before marriage. Hopefully, you will learn more about your partner as they attempt to answer your questions. And try to make it fun and easy for them.
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Remember that marriage can be everything you have ever dreamed of if you start rightly; hopefully, these questions will help. Many thanks for reading and sharing.
