There are many men everywhere you turn to, but a good man isn’t one you see every day. I hate to admit that, but looking at everything that is happening in the dating scene today, you would agree that that statement earlier made isn’t untrue.
From the number of men who cheat on their spouses to the ones that verbally and physically abuse their partners, the truth is, it is hard to go a day without hearing or seeing one or both of the things mentioned above.
What about men who run away from their responsibilities, even as partners or fathers? The list goes on and on. However, focusing solely on the negative side alone will discourage ladies from going into romantic relationships.
What is the use of all that stress someone may be thinking? I can understand, but as we all know, nobody is perfect, so we are still working toward becoming a better version of ourselves every day we see the sun. So, it means some men are a work in progress. And since they are striving to get better, it means they can be trusted.
Interestingly, this article will guide you to know some qualities of a good man to marry when you want to settle down. And as humans, one of our deepest fears is ending up with the wrong person.
All hope is not lost, as good men are still out there. But, you must avoid the bad ones even though they seem more numerous.
So hopefully, what makes a good man a good man will be unravelled in this post, and you will know what to look for. So, come with me as I guide you to know some qualities of a good man.
1. He Never Lets You Forget How Much He Loves You
One of the first signs of a good man is that he will never let you forget how much he loves you. And loving you will be a decision he will make every day he wakes up. But unfortunately for others, that is too much of a task to carry out. This will never be on their list for long for some men, especially those out for their gain.
At first, he may pretend to, but the question is, how long will he continue to act? And chances are, he is off to the next one as soon as he has gotten what brought him to you. It is like he is in a race to beat time because he keeps seeing pretty ladies everywhere he turns and can’t wait to get done with you so he can proceed to his next target.
But for a good man, it is like saying he adores you; I don’t necessarily mean your physical or outward appearance alone.
He never stops confessing how loving you are and how he appreciates your person. And a good man will never make you feel like an afterthought. In his world, you are his priority or his only thought.
When a person truly loves you, you will see it, feel it, and know it. And a good man will always remind you how much you mean to him.
2. He Will Make You Feel Beautiful
One of the qualities of a good man in a relationship a lady should look for is his ability to make her feel beautiful. Besides knowing she is beautiful, a woman will want to hear it from her man.
And the very least he should do is mean the words whenever he tells her because women can sometimes smell a lie from a mile away.
We all know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And from how he treats you and talks to you, you will undoubtedly know his intentions. He will make you see that he didn’t just say you are pretty carelessly. But those words were intentional from his heart.
You can quickly know who a person is by how they treat you. And besides words telling us who they are, because our words are a reflection of our hearts, how they treat you will also let you know.
Simply put, he will understand that making you feel beautiful goes beyond words. And he will be willing to show you. So it is safe to say he will talk and work the talk. And when you put extra effort into your appearance, he will let you know that he sees it and communicate how he truly loves you for you.
3. He Will Make You Feel Safe
Safety is one of the best things any woman could ask for. What is the point of being with someone you don’t feel safe around? I mean, how do you even trust them? And I am talking about safety on all levels.
A good man will work to make you feel safe around him. But, still, he will take his time to model that in front of you; hopefully, you will then feel safe with him.
Safe enough to tell him about your deepest fears and worries and not feel afraid that he will use them against you. And feel safe around him to be yourself and not fear being judged or criticised.
So many women are scared of sharing intimate things because they fear he may not love them anymore if they tell the man in their lives some things.
But, if I may, where, then, is the connection? What’s being in love without vulnerability? But, interestingly, true love looks beyond all those.
So, besides physical safety, we should also be concerned about emotional safety because a good man should be able to connect with his partner on the basic levels of their relationship.
4. He Does The Little Things
If you are looking for the signs of a good man to marry, look for the one who does the little things because it will matter in the long run. This may not make sense to you, but it all will in a few minutes.
You might want to ask, what are these little things? They are simple gestures that may not seem like anything when done, but when ignored can cause a rift.
Or on the other hand, the little things in relationships may consistently strengthen your bond and increase emotional security. And if absent, your guess is as good as mine. However, in our earlier point, we briefly discussed the need to feel safe with your partner on all levels.
The little things add up daily to the grand gestures that we all look up to one day. Those types that will give you a sense of being loved and leave you breathless.
But if we neglect the little things, we will never get to the grand gesture we hope to have someday.
So, would you prefer having your partner show you one small act of affection and thoughtfulness daily or gift you a new car? Of course, the choice remains yours, but if you are searching for a perfect man qualities list, this will be among them.
5. He Will Never Abuse You
What are the qualities of a good man, you might ask? Interestingly, many of them, and I couldn’t resist adding this one to the list.
So whether verbal or physical abuse, a good man knows that his strength lies in his ability not to cross the line. His strength lies in his ability to control his negative emotions, especially when he has every right to act otherwise.
The truth is that a man is as strong as his sense of control. But unfortunately, not too many men know about this.
And unfortunately, others will act and blame their actions on their emotions. So, I suggest you read my article How To Set Boundaries to learn more about the benefits of not crossing the line. I extensively explained and gave examples of some healthy boundaries in that article.
No relationship is void of some form of disagreement or misunderstanding. However, an excellent partner knows better than to resort to abusive actions– physically or verbally.
But sadly, many who were not raised well believe that the only way you can prove that you are a man is to bully your woman or, worse, abuse her if she goes contrary to your rule. Again, only weak men embrace such an ideology.
Therefore, I strongly condemn this act because you can pass your point across without resorting to that tactic.
While many people focus more on physical abuse, little or no attention is paid to verbal abuse.
Unfortunately, millions of people have been verbally abused at some point in their relationships. And sometimes, cry themselves to sleep because they have no one to talk to. If you are in an abusive relationship, please speak to someone about it.
I do strongly know that a good man knows he should never cross the line, and no matter what happens, he stands his ground not to break that rule.
6. He Is Always Trying To Improve Himself
Relationships are about becoming better instead of remaining the way you are. And there are numerous benefits attached to that. Interestingly, if that is done, it speaks of growth.
And who wouldn’t want to have a partner that embraces growth in all areas of their relationship and life? Personally, there is no crime coming the way you are, but staying the way you are should not be an option you even want to consider.
When a man constantly tries to better himself, it is an excellent sign that he is good and wants to get better as the day goes by.
But unfortunately, I have met people who have said they love the way they are and are unwilling to change for the better.
And what’s worse is that their spouse tells them they need to change and improve, but all those words usually fall on deaf ears because they have already decided not to improve. You may think this is untrue, but people often say these things even in their attitude.
When he makes an effort to learn about healthy relationships, quickly takes correction, and tries to work on them, you should know that he wants what is best for him and you.
So, what makes a relationship exciting or who makes it interesting? Of course, it is the people in it. They are the ones to make the relationship enjoyable.
So, when your partner makes such an effort, he is communicating that he wants what is best for him and you.
Because at the end of the day, when it is all said and done, if he improves, he will love himself more and only then will he be able to love you more.
7. He Will Be Honest And Make You Feel Comfortable Being Honest
I always say that romantic relationships are a two-way street. And any couple who sticks to this usually come out smiling. Besides, this doesn’t imply that they won’t face challenges. But, their approach will be different from most average couples’ styles.
Honesty should be one of the building blocks of any healthy relationship, and such romantic relationships always stand the test of time. But unfortunately, honesty is not found these days easily. But the good news is that there are still honest people on earth, and hopefully, you will get to spend the rest of your life with one.
A man who genuinely loves you will be honest with you on all levels. And the reasons aren’t far-fetched. So what is the use of claiming to love someone and not being honest with them? That is immature and a total waste of time, and if you are that kind of person, you should change.
A good man doesn’t stop at being honest. Instead, he goes further to ensure you feel comfortable being honest with him.
And what better way to do this than leading by example or modelling that in front of your partner? True intimacy isn’t achieved until both partners have been able to connect on all of these plains.
There is a plain where fear doesn’t exist because of how far you have travelled with the love of your life. And I desire that you get to experience what it feels like.
One of the ways to ensure this happens is to create a welcoming environment in your home or your relationship. Of course, we shouldn’t underestimate the power of atmospheres in a home or a relationship.
But moreover, the truth remains that when negativity is all there is, no one will feel comfortable bearing their hearts out to the other.
But when a welcoming atmosphere is created, you will be shocked at how things will automatically change.
8. He Will Stand By You
Relationships are about many things. And one of those things is getting a good man who will stand by you no matter the challenge.
In this article, I have frequently mentioned how we do not easily come across such men. But the good news is that they are available.
However, you will have to be patient, smart and courageous to get that type of a man. Perhaps you might be wondering why I used the word ‘courageous.’ This is because it takes courage to go for what you want. Maybe in another article relating to this, I will explain better.
It is easy for a man to love you when it is all rosy – I mean, who wouldn’t? You know, those times when everything is in place.
But one of the true and few indicators that that man will stand by you isn’t known in the smooth path of life. It is known when you hit rock bottom.
And in that time, if he stands by you, he is a good man. So beyond many other things, look for a man that will stand by you even in the tough times.
9. A Good Man Will Never Discourage You
Some men are good at discouraging their partners. They say, “oh, honey, you don’t have what it takes.” And words like that have a way of messing with the mind. So we must realise that words are indeed powerful.
The word discourage isn’t a good term. It actually means when someone loses confidence. And when that happens, it will drastically affect our lives negatively, and we can be discouraged by many things.
A fantastic partner knows these things and will never be the reason why you should ever get discouraged. On the contrary, he understands how important it is for your confidence level to be constantly high. So, he encourages you even when you think otherwise of the situation you have found yourself in.
It is lovely for your significant other to be your biggest cheerleader, even when you do not think you have what it takes to get to your destination.
Such a man makes you believe in your abilities, dreams, and visions. And isn’t that what we all need in our romantic relationship?
10. A Good Man Will Never Cheat On You
I couldn’t have omitted this from the list seeing the current happenings in our world today. I want to believe we are not strangers to these phrases: men are scum, or all men cheat.
Honey, I beg to differ. Generalising such claims might be because of the ugly experiences you might have had or the ones friends have told you.
The danger of a single story is that it doesn’t capture the entire story from all angles. Instead, it picks one side and constantly paints that picture for its audience. And how does this negatively affects you? Well, your guess is as good as mine.
This message has largely led many women to think that when a man cheats, it is expected because it is his nature to do so.
This is highly erroneous and has created an ideology in men that it is their nature to cheat, and for women, a man must cheat. With this mindset, you are already defeated and on your way to many challenges. Because you will tolerate a lot of nonsense and do not know you deserve nothing but the best.
A man’s strength is in his ability to exercise self-control even when the chance presents itself to cheat. Yes, there will be opportunities for you to cheat on your spouse. I’d be lying to you if I told you there wouldn’t be any.
But a man that values what he shares with you knows better than to cheat. Besides, there is beauty in staying faithful to your partner. It means you are different from the rest, and it also means you know the meaning or value of what you share with your spouse.
If you suspect your spouse is cheating on you but do not know what signs to look for, read my article Signs Of A Cheating Partner. You will learn about some tricks people who cheat on their spouses use.
11. A Good Man Will Never Avoid Important Conversations
Are some topics off-limits in your relationship? It is ok if that is what you and your spouse have decided. However, if there are no limits, and he keeps shying away from some vital conversations, this may not be a good sign.
Communication is a part of every type of relationship, and it is vital. But a partner who avoids essential conversations with their spouse is a sign of not wanting to be honest, running away from their fears, or even worse, unsure of the relationship.
A gentleman understands that no issue can be resolved until it is faced, and one of the ways to do that is to talk about it. But unfortunately, the only thing guaranteed when you avoid such things is delaying the inevitable and potentially making things worse.
I have repeatedly said that an unresolved problem is an ongoing reality waiting to happen at a particular time in the future.
We must understand that there is a difference between choosing our battles and avoiding conflict. They are two different things. Interestingly, I have a whole article on how to get your partner talking. Do read my article Conversation Starters to learn more.
12. He Will Work To Gain Your Trust
Without trust, no relationship will stand. True happiness comes from a place of trust because your mind is at peace. This is why it seems that when some women get older, they look more beautiful. The secret is really simple.
Your man will work to gain your trust because he knows that sometimes, it must be earned. And after earned, it must be kept. Therefore, he will deliberately work to make you comfortable and confident in your relationship. That way, you will begin to trust him.
The truth is that without trust, there is no foundation, and a house cannot stand when there is no foundation. Other things like love and respect will also be absent.
So if you are wondering how to build trust in your relationship with your spouse so your relationship will not be void of many things, I have got you covered. You can read my article titled, How To Build Trust In A Relationship to learn more.
Before reading this article, you might have been asking what qualities should a good man have. I hope this article answers that question with all you must have read.
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