One of the most discussed topics among singles is how to find true love. And quite frankly, you can’t blame them because we all want to find true love and lead a happy life.
Moreover, finding true love can save you untold stress. But, unfortunately, some people thought they had found the one when they got married, only for them to realise that they had made the wrong choice.
Of course, no one is above mistakes, but the challenge is that some are costlier than others. Thinking about such reasons made me realise how vital it is to share my thoughts on how to find true love.
Everyone has something to say about this topic of how to find true love. And some of their experiences came after much trial and failure.
But, interestingly, the good news is that you do not necessarily have to fail before you find your true love. So I am putting this out here for anyone who reads this article to learn and know how to find true love when they are ready.
The work doesn’t stop when you finally find love. Instead, it means you have graduated from finding to learning to keep. So, that means you have to work on how to keep your true love. And the work has to come from both of you.
True love is that special and passionate bond that connects you as a couple. It always wants the best for the other person regardless of how tasking it may be. And this is the foundation for a loving, healthy relationship.
1. Instant Sensual Attraction Often Fades
Sadly, many of us have mistaken sensual relations for love, and this has caused many problems. We have allowed that fleeting five minutes pleasure to lure us into saying “I do” on the altar. But unfortunately, a few months later, we discovered that not all that glitter is gold.
Also, we realised that the grass wasn’t as green as we imagined it to be just because the business under the sheets was fine. And this is the case for many people today.
You will be surprised by the number of people who think sensual relations mean love. But unfortunately, many people can have such relations with you and do not love you. I mean, they have no feeling of love for you. This is because the sensual relationship was just a means of getting pleasure and had nothing to do with love.
Anyone who has had both will tell you it is difficult to separate both, especially when they are good in bed. But the bottom line is instant sensual attraction will fade away, especially when reality comes knocking on the door because the answer to most life challenges isn’t gotten from sensual relationships alone.
2. Know What You Are Looking For
When finding love, one of the first things to do is to know what you are looking for. But, unfortunately, you will set yourself up for failure without knowing what you want. And I see many singles do this often. So, listen, even finding love needs a game plan.
You can’t just expect things to fall in place magically. So it would help to have a list of things you hope to find in the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
One of the advantages of doing this is that it will save you from unnecessary stress. Additionally, it also means that you know what you want. Sometimes, confusion comes because we do not know what we want.
So anything that comes on the scene looks like what we want. But if you go ahead to write down what you want, a reasonable amount of the problem has been solved.
So, that means when a person shows up who doesn’t have what you are looking for, there is no need to debate about it.
For instance, it is like a person who got 20% in an exam score and wondered why he didn’t get promoted. They failed to get promoted because they didn’t get the required score that would aid them in going to the next level.
And it is the same thing in relationships. So, if you are confused, look at your list again and see if they have the required things that qualify them to be in a relationship with you. And if they don’t have the minimum or required ‘score’, let them go.
3. Prepare To Meet The One By Reaching Your Highest Potential
This is one aspect that many people fail to take into consideration. For example, many feel that being pretty or handsome will automatically qualify them as the one for another person. But, unfortunately, this is largely inaccurate.
Although there is a place for all that, relationships are beyond what they look like outwardly.
Any successful relationship didn’t happen by accident. It is either one or both of the people involved prepared for it.
Because the truth is whatever blessing you do not prepare for might ruin you. For instance, if a person gifted you a car without you learning or taking lessons on how to drive, you hop in the front seat and attempt to drive. One thing is evident, and that is a crash.
So, while searching for love, do not forget to prepare. And one of the ways to do that is by reaching your highest potential.
Of course, we all want to meet the best person and eventually have them all to ourselves, which is not entirely wrong.
However, it would be unfair if you would expect your true love to be the best for you but not make any effort to be the same for them.
The benefit of becoming the best for them also becomes a blessing to you and whoever finally dates you because they will meet a better and more refined version of you.
So, instead of fixating on trying to be the one for someone, try a different approach and prepare. And I’d like to end by saying that anyone who fails to prepare is planning to fail.
4. Make Yourself Attractive
We have different ideas about what beauty means or what is beautiful and what we are attracted by in the opposite gender. Indeed, one of the best ways to find true love is by making yourself attractive enough to catch the eye of suitors who gaze at you.
But, unfortunately, failure to do so might make your chances slimmer, and I will explain why. Most romantic relationships began because one person saw the other was cute in their eyes and then decided to declare their romantic interest openly. And we remember the saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
The eyes are habitually attracted to beautiful things and people. That also explains why people like beautiful cars, houses, or whatever they consider beautiful.
So if you make yourself pretty or handsome, people will look for you. So that means if you put effort into your outward appearance, you have a better chance of attracting suitors than someone who doesn’t take time to make sure they appear cute. It is really that simple.
It won’t hurt you to make nice hair if you are a lady; for a guy, your barber should give you a cute haircut. Also, do not forget to dress decent, smart, and attractive because something pulls others to people who dress elegantly.
And finally, on this point, a good cologne won’t be a bad idea, too. So when you do this consistently, people will notice you more, and then you can choose. That’s how to find true love.
5. Enlarge Your Circle Of Friends And Acquaintances
To all those thinking, will I ever find love? Yes, you will find love if you go in search of love. Sometimes in life, to get what you want, you might have to search for it. And the same can be said about love.
A few years ago, I applied this same principle, and among the new friends I got, one of them became my partner, and today, the rest is history.
Too often, we camp around the same old faces, and other times, we do not even have friends or even go out to meet new people. If this is your routine, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there is no way you can find love.
Listen, if the old ways haven’t worked effectively for you, don’t you think it is time to change your pattern of doing things? But, first, be friendly, and people will like to associate themselves with you, and who knows, just like I found the lucky break, you, too, might find your gem in your new set of friends. That is how to find true love.
6. Be With The Right Company
Associations are so vital in life that we can’t afford to be careless about them. Who you hang out with is as crucial as what you eat daily because a poor lifestyle happens due to wrong choices made over time.
We all know that associations can either make us or mar us. So we ought not to be careless about who we hang out with.
One of the best ways to attract the right person is to be the right person and hang out with the right company. But, listen, timing is everything in life, and equally vital is where you meet them.
However, it would be best to remember that the environment tells you about the person. For instance, you shouldn’t be at the club if you want a church girl.
So, go to places that reflect who you are and the person you’d like to meet to date. And hopefully, on one of your outings, you may meet the one for you.
7. Stop Basing Your Standards On Movies And Novels
There is a big difference between reality and what we see in a movie. I wish many would understand this, but they have refused to see things differently for some reason.
And sadly, this hasn’t helped them. You would be shocked by the number of folks who base their standards on a movie character or the character in the romance novel they read. And that is so pathetic.
This is one of the reasons why many people are still single: they have preconceived notions and numerous unreal expectations about who they should date even before meeting them.
Also, it can be said that they now have unrealistic expectations because of what they have consumed over time.
These are the kinds of people who will expect their partners to be perfect. And at the slightest sign of their partner’s humanity or flaws coming to the lame light, they become offended.
How on earth can anyone be offended because your humanity revealed itself?
The movie or novel characters are unreal, and you should stop basing your standards on them. Also, it will interest you to note that they are simply doing what they were told to do, and if the movie director doesn’t like how it came out, a reshoot is evident.
8. Do Not Focus On Physical Appearance
We are advocating that you do not make this the first thing on your list or, in other words, focus all your attention on that. And there are several reasons why.
First, in finding true love, you should understand that true love is unconditional, not based on something as little as one’s physical appearance.
This may sound contradictory to what I said earlier about making oneself attractive. We sometimes get attracted to a person because of their appearance.
However, beyond that, when we choose to stay even when the reason we got attracted to them in the first place is gone, now, to an extent, that is true love.
Beauty fades significantly when growing older. As a result, our skin begins to get wrinkled, which is a natural phenomenon.
So, what then happens if the beautiful shape gradually disappears after several childbirths? Will you still love her or go after another younger woman who is more beautiful and still has her body intact?
Finally, on this point, we must remember that pure love is unconditional. Therefore, it would be best if you didn’t base it on how beautiful or handsome a person is – because the world will never lack such people.
9. Find A Person Whose Personality Complements Yours
Finding true love is searching for a person whose personality complements yours. But unfortunately, some people make mistakes when looking for a partner they want to settle down with.
Instead of focusing on this, they tend to focus on unimportant matters. And then, a few months or years later, they realise they have made an expensive mistake.
Your partner must not be exactly like you, but they must complement you and vice versa if you want to get the best out of your relationship.
For instance, a pen and its cover aren’t the same. But what is most important is that they complement each other. So, how would it look if the cover says it wants to be as tall as the pen itself or precisely alike?
Their differences didn’t mean that they didn’t fit each other. On the contrary, it made them perfect for each other. So, all you need is to find someone who matches your personality. That is how to find true love.
10. Look For A Person Whose Set Of Priorities Is The Same As Yours
If you intend to find your love, you shouldn’t look for someone whose priorities differ from yours. On the contrary, it is vital to consider looking for someone whose set of priorities is the same as yours because it will eventually save you a lot of stress.
Relationships are much smoother when partners align their priorities of what they want in life and the relationship.
However, when this area is neglected, sooner than later, the relationship will be affected negatively. So, the couple should share the same perception about what goes first.
11. Finding Someone Who Respects You
I consider this to be very important, and I think you should too. Respect is one of the things that any healthy relationship is founded on.
And when a relationship is healthy, the couple will blossom. But on the other hand, when a relationship is void of respect, the couple will be filled with many negative emotions toward each other.
So it is vital to consider searching for a person who first respects you as a human being and then your beliefs. Failure to do this is only a recipe for disaster soon.
So beyond looking for a person that makes you have butterflies in your belly or makes you feel loved, look for someone who knows how to respect people regardless of status, age, or other things.
With such a person with you, there is a high tendency for them to exhibit selflessness in the relationship. And the best part is that you will feel secure with that person.
12. Consider The Judgement Of Your Family
Family is essential, and you wouldn’t like to distance yourself from the opinion of your family regarding who you are with or planning to be with.
Moreover, considering your family’s judgment will often save you a lot of heartaches. And I have seen this happen countless times with the people around me.
Although they may not always be right, most of the time, they are. And if your family hasn’t liked anyone you have brought home, chances are your choices have been poor.
Because considering that every family wants what’s best for their kids, they won’t approve of someone they perceive will bring pain and destruction into your life.
When in love, we may not see the negative side of the person we love. But if we introduce that person to our family, they may be able to tell you what they see that you are probably not seeing.
However, in the end, the final decision will be made by you, but they can only advise you so that you do not end up in tears.
13. Meet Their Family And Friends
How they treat their family members and friends will tell you a lot about who they are, and you don’t want to neglect this essential part of the equation for many reasons.
So firstly, our true nature comes out in our natural habitat. And we are often like the people we spend most of our time with.
And this is the truth because we are a product of our experiences. Rarely do we not turn out to be like what we have seen most of our lives.
I mean, those who end up different, especially those who come from a toxic home, must have put in a lot of effort.
The same can be said of those who come from a good family because the character of the parents will shape theirs from a tender age.
It is possible to come from a good home and end up being the opposite of that. And one of the reasons why that can be possible is because of another set of people in our life.
And they call those sets of people friends. And on the other hand, a person can come from a destructive or toxic home, but because of the friends they later meet in life become precisely different from the rest of their entire family members. So, please, believe me when I say that associations are powerful.
In any case, the people you spend most of your time with will always have a role in shaping who you eventually become. And it will be wise to always meet these two sets of people before committing to a relationship with anyone.
14. Test It With Time
I remember saying earlier on that timing is everything. So time is another essential commodity when finding true love and staying in love.
Because nothing tests love better than time. Interestingly, I’d like to say that time is a revealer of things because, after the attraction period, which sometimes lasts between 6 to 12 months, affection between couples is usually tried after this period.
So usually, conflicts and other forms of disagreements will arise because the excitement of love has declined.
However, it will interest you to note that the excitement of love and staying in love are two different things.
Subsequently, the relationship may become boring because you have known each other and been together for a couple of years.
But if you have lost the spark in your relationship, there are ways to rekindle that. And our article titled, how to get the spark back in a broken relationship will be of help.
In these times, many are tempted to look outside for someone new because they want to feel the excitement of love again.
But if your relationship beats all that and stands firm, it is safe to say it must be true love because you fought to stay in love with each other despite the challenges.
15. Do Not Let Your Emotions Cloud Your Decisions
I wish this were as easy as ABC. But the good news is that if others have done it, why can’t you? So finally, how to find true love is not allowing your emotions to cloud your sense of reasoning.
I know we may meet a person and vibe with them. But somewhere along the line, when you see signs of a red flag, do not let the emotion of love get in the way.
Again, sometimes, because we instantaneously want to find true love, we strip ourselves of all forms of rational reasoning. And I can’t tell you how many people have paid the price for this mistake.
So, one of the most essential organs you must take with you into any relationship is your brain. And I suppose you know why now.
Maybe before reading this article, you had questions on your mind like, “when will I find true love?” or “will I ever find love?” well, while reading this article, I hope those questions were answered.
Finding true love doesn’t happen overnight. So that means patience will have its role to play in the equation. And when you finally find your true love, remember to work to keep your relationship.
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