There are many reasons why you should learn how to control jealousy. Although jealousy is a common human emotion, almost all of us have experienced it in relationships.
But, when jealousy isn’t controlled, it will make you a loose cannon waiting to happen soon. And that means it will almost be impossible for you to be happy as a person and happy for others when good things happen to them.
So you will always want good things to happen to you alone; unfortunately, that isn’t how life works. And remember that where jealousy exists, not too far behind is envy.
Sometimes these feelings of jealousy are fleeting, but other times they can take over, and we may need to express these feelings to our partners. And failure to do this positively can hinder our relationship from blossoming.
Countless times in different types of human relationships, jealousy has caused people who were once close to going their separate ways.
This has happened between siblings, colleagues, and even lovers. And sadly, it continues to this day. Seeing this has made it paramount that I write about how to control jealousy, so it doesn’t ruin you and your relationship. So join me as we explore a few tips on how to control jealousy.
1. Trace It Back To Its Source
One of the first things to do if you want to control this unhealthy emotion is to ask yourself why you are feeling a sudden surge of it in you.
You must do this if you’re going to address the challenge head-on. Whereas, anything short of this will only be a temporary solution. And I am sure that what you need is not a temporary solution but a permanent one.
For instance, anyone who desires to cut down or uproot a tree shouldn’t be going for its leaves. But, on the other hand, you should be going for the leaves if you want to trim them.
So this also tells us that our motives matter. If you desire to uproot the tree, you have no business with its leaves but the root. So to get a permanent solution, trace the root cause of your jealousy to its roots and uproot it.
Also, you must take into consideration that this process may not be a quick one. So often, we want things to happen at the snap of our fingers, but we fail to realise that those things didn’t just take root in us through the snap of our fingers. So, all I am trying to say is it may take weeks or even months, but it will all be worth it in the end.
2. Voice Your Concerns
Has this helped in the fight against getting jealous? Of course, it has. But has it been easy to voice one’s concerns? It certainly has not been easy, but it’s been worth it for those who tried it.
We must never underestimate the power of letting our spouses know how we feel regardless of our emotions. And this is how to express jealousy in a positive way.
It is always helpful not to allow negative emotions to control you in the spur of the moment so you don’t end up saying or using the wrong words. Furthermore, when doing this, share your concerns and not accusations.
You should also note that raining accusations on your partner won’t make you feel better, nor will it solve the problem.
However, if there is one thing it will do, it is to compound issues further. In sharing your concerns about what they did or what someone around them did to trigger jealousy, use that time to also go over healthy boundaries in your relationship. Our article titled healthy boundaries in relationships will guide you on that.
Suppose you don’t voice your concerns about how you feel because of what they did; it will only create more room for other unhealthy and negative emotions to find a place in you.
3. Talk To A Trusted Friend
This is another effective way to ensure that jealousy doesn’t ruin you. Perhaps you might not be in the right frame of mind to speak to your partner about how you feel.
And there could be several reasons, one of which could be that you might not use the right words because of how you feel.
Shockingly, this is understandable, so the next wise step will be to talk to your close friend, who won’t be offended by your choice of words.
The rationale is to let you vent your anger because with jealousy, sometimes comes anger. And that may not allow you to think straight.
So your friend is a third party who will listen and let you say what’s on your mind, and then, they will advise you on the next wise step because where there is no counsel, wisdom is absent. And other times, your mind might play tricks on you, so it is always wise to listen.
4. Practice Gratitude For What You Have
Practising gratitude will go a long way in helping you combat jealousy. It is a weapon against any other negative feeling if given a chance.
Thus, we must realise that we are responsible for how we feel and should do all within our power to keep jealousy out of our lives completely.
Let’s face reality. Sometimes, we do not have all we want or desire, but what about the ones we have? However, people are striving to get what you have –your car, the kind of your partner, your job and other things.
So instead of allowing jealousy to consume you over what you don’t have yet, be grateful for the ones you have first while you work for the ones you want to have.
When jealousy seeks a hold over you, recall that not everyone’s life is perfect, including the person you are eyeing. Instead, be thankful for the good things or excellent partner you have in your life that values you. This is how to control jealousy.
5. Remember Your Own Value
One of the things jealousy seeks to do is strip you of all your values. This is why when people are jealous, they do things they would never have done in their right frame of mind.
It seeks to erase all forms of rational thinking that they may possess. This is why they do unimaginable things when jealousy takes the wheel.
We are all unique in our own ways, which is a fantastic thing that should be celebrated. But, on the other hand, jealousy will always seek the need to compare yourself with another person.
And in reality, your life is terrific and even desirable to someone else. Sadly, people that have given room for jealousy to control them will never see anything good in their lives.
6. Practice Mindfulness
How to control jealousy in a relationship is to practice mindfulness consistently. And I would like to draw our attention to the meaning of mindfulness, but first, we must never forget that our minds are powerful, and so are our thoughts.
So it would be best if you consistently watched your thoughts. Otherwise, they may rule over you. But, strikingly, our actions are at the mercy of our thoughts. So, that means that when we entertain thoughts of jealousy long enough, not too far from that time, our actions will fall in line with what we have been thinking.
Mindfulness is achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings and thoughts.
Unfortunately, the tendency to be jealous exists in every human. But the difference between those who show theirs and those who don’t let it rule them is that some have worked on themselves.
They acknowledge the feeling but never let it take over their being. In other words, they pay attention to their thoughts and feelings as they come up without criticising or judging them and watch for patterns it follows so they can address them.
7. Talk To A Therapist
Seeing a therapist is another effective way that can help you. So if you have trouble dealing with the struggle, I’d advise seeing a therapist quickly.
Sometimes it may not be easy to sit in front of a total stranger and unpack some of these negative feelings and not feel uncomfortable.
It can sometimes be one of the hardest things to do because the fear of being judged is something many of us are scared of. But we must also remember that they are trained for such purposes. So, do away with those feelings by seeing a therapist.
8. Occupy Yourself
If you notice that when you are bored or alone, the negative feeling of jealousy returns, you should distract or occupy yourself.
And there are several ways you could do that. For example, you could choose to see a movie or give yourself a task. You know, just anything meaningful that will keep your mind active and away from anything related to jealousy. Another option would be to call a friend or two so you can hang out with them and have fun.
9. Surround Yourself With Positive People
Again, how to control jealousy is to surround yourself with positive people. You know, people whose mindsets are positively inclined and not otherwise.
Whether we like it or not, we are a reflection of those we spend most of our time with. So, could it be that their words aren’t helping your situation? The truth is that the words we hear always have a way of shaping our minds.
So if you want to change how you feel, you might start by surrounding yourself with positive people, not those who constantly hate others.
Other times, your friends could deliberately say things to make you jealous. If you have noticed this pattern, the best thing to do if you want to overcome that challenge is to reduce hanging out with them drastically.
Also, embrace a gathering of supportive, honest, helpful and kind people. Because this way, you will get better, and this is how to control jealousy.
10. Consider The Full Picture
We live in a time where almost everyone posts their best reels on social media, and it is highly possible to get jealous because of some of the content you see.
You may even get jealous of your colleague at work or a stranger. However, before you let that unhealthy feeling grow more in you, ask yourself if it is worth it.
I guarantee it is not worth it because we all have junk in our trunks but will never let the world see that part. So all I have been trying to say is that jealousy can sometimes develop in response to a partial picture.
So do not compare yourself and your achievements to an incomplete or idealised view of someone else’s picture. This is how to control jealousy fast.
11. Write It Out
This is another effective way that could help you combat this challenge. Journaling, as we know, has helped many people get over stressful times, even in their relationships.
It is an excellent place to keep tabs on your frustrations and insecurities related to jealousy. However, this is in no way encouraging you to bring references from your journal when you and your partner are at loggerheads.
If this is your primary motive, then this is totally unhealthy. One of the reasons people are encouraged to write in such situations is to help them vent because it is ideal for venting.
12. Praise Those Who Are Doing Well
This is also how to control jealousy. Hating on someone’s achievements has and will never make their achievements yours.
It is high time we understood this and started praising them for their accomplishments. Also, hating on their abilities will not make yours better than theirs. So you must realise that hating will not bring you closer to your own goals either.
Most importantly, when you praise them, it shows respect and humility from you. For instance, if your friend seems happy in their new relationship, be happy for them too.
You could go on to tell them how wonderful they have become since they started seeing this new person they are with now. Remember that it won’t take anything from you to do this.
Jealousy in a relationship is most often an indication of a poor self-image or low self-esteem. And if you want to feel good and enjoy any form of relationship with anyone, you must first work to overcome that mindset.
There are many ways to control jealousy, but we hope these shared here will help anyone going through this challenge.
There are other excellent articles like this from us, and to get them, kindly click here. Likewise, we wouldn’t like you to miss the additional content available on our social media platforms.
So to get them, please click here. If there is one thing I can say concerning our articles, they are highly helpful to anyone who reads them.
Thanks for reading, and do remember to share.
