How To Get Out of The Friend Zone: 10 Tips

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How To Get Out of The Friend Zone

Have you been in love with someone who didn’t see you with the same eye you saw them, and as a result of that, you were relegated to the friend zone? If you are in this category, let’s explore how to get out of the friend zone.

I know how that feels because I have been there before. Nothing is more heartbreaking than hearing, “I see you solely as a friend and nothing more,” come from the person you have longed to be with. It is on that note I want to give us some helpful tips on how to get out of the friend zone.

Anyone, regardless of their gender, can be friend-zoned, but if you play your cards right with what I will be sharing with you, they can become your significant other. Before we go further, what does it mean when people use the term “friend zone”? In other words, what is the friend zone?


What Is The Friend Zone?

In the world of romantic relationships, a few things are either on the same level as the dreaded friend zone or even worse. I have been dumped before, cheated on, and have been in a relationship where the love I gave to my partner never got reciprocated.

It’s all a part of the complexities that come with the struggle of finding the one. But in all those experiences I listed, which do you think comes close to being friend-zoned?

Have you been in a situation where you have feelings of romantic interest for another person, but those feelings are not returned, and the other person only considers you a friend? Well, if you have experienced this before, that is what being friend-zoned means.

Sometimes, this can lead to feelings of frustration or disappointment for the person with unrequited feelings. Sad right? Well, not all love stories have a happy ending.

How To Know When You’re Friend-Zoned?

So, the next logical question should be, “How do I know when I have been friend-zoned?” I bet many of you are yearning to know. This can take different forms, but I will list and briefly discuss some of the most obvious ones.

  • They Are An Open Book About Others

Do they regularly tell you about their romantic interest in others and probably seek your advice on approaching them? If they usually do this, this is one of the signs that you have been friend-zoned.

You might not want to hear this, but it is true. You might argue that they value me, so they came to me for advice. You are right if you say they value you, but the question is, as what, a friend or a romantic partner?

  • There Is No Physical Connection

Need I say more on this? When there is no form of physical connection whatsoever, that should clearly tell you that they see you as just a friend and not a romantic partner. In other cases, even when you try to advance toward them, they shut you out on the first attempt. What more signs do you need to know that you are in the friend zone?

  • They Are Playing Matchmaker – But Not For You And Them

Do they always seem to talk to you about some other person they feel you should be in a relationship with other than them? If they are always looking for someone perfect for you, then it is safe to say that you have been friend-zoned.

And good friends usually want nothing but the best for their friends. Why didn’t they ever think about matchmaking, you two? Chances are they probably see themselves as a very supportive friend.

  • They Vent On You

Another classic sign that says a person has been friend-zoned is when they come to you to tell you about the challenges in their relationship and seek your advice. In other words, you are the friend whose shoulder they come to cry on when things are not so rosy in la la land, but they will never see you as a partner even when they are single.

  • They Dodge Intimacy

Whenever you try to initiate a topic that may give you a chance to tell them how you feel, but they redirect the conversation back to light topics, this should tell you what you need to know.

I just shared a few tips on how to know when you’re friend-zoned, so the question to answer is, “How do I get out of the friend zone?”


1.   Communicate Your Feelings

For any relationship to be successful, one of the things that must be there is communication – not just any kind, but a proper one. However, since it takes good communication for a relationship to succeed, don’t you think it would take doing that to begin one?
So, if you are thinking of how to get out of the friend zone, one of the first things you should consider doing is communicating.

I don’t just mean talking alone. If communication is not just about talking alone, what does it really entail? Communication goes beyond just speaking; it is also about listening and processing what the other person says. So, if communication must be effective, it must include sending and receiving messages accurately and clearly.

Would you agree with me if I said that we could be with someone every day and still not properly communicate our feelings to them?
I have seen that happen before, and it was really a sad scene. Sometimes, in our hearts, we are already a couple, but in reality, that is far from the case. Unfortunately, that will continue to be the case unless you tell them what’s on your heart.

Moreover, if nobody ever said to you that there is a proper way to go about telling them how you feel, then, sadly, you might lose them to another person. Many times, we might have the right message in our hearts but won’t say it. Instead, we prefer to exhibit signs, or we expect them to read our hearts magically so they get the message clearly.

In such a case, the chances of both of you ending together as a couple are slim because the truth is, humans can’t read minds. Additionally, when it comes to such kinds of cases, assumption is a costly endeavour. I have realised that every message, no matter how wonderful it may be in the heart of the sender, will only be received well if the mode of delivery is perfect.

In other words, our messages to our crush or intended spouse are always at the mercy of our mode of delivery. So what does that tell you? Just having the message alone doesn’t guarantee they will like you.

Furthermore, for any relationship to begin, one person must have to make their intentions known because nothing will happen until you open your mouth and speak about your feelings to them. So, tell them about your feelings if you are wondering how to get out of the friend zone.


2.  Respect Their Feelings

How To Get Out of The Friend Zone

As much as you are advised to communicate your feelings to them properly, you must also remember that they are humans, and as a result, they have feelings, too. I understand this may not be what you want to hear right now, but what’s better than hearing the truth?
Sometimes, we must understand that nothing happens automatically in life or, better yet, overnight.

We must not fail to realise that time is also a factor. What if they just got out of a nasty relationship and still feel hurt because of what the other person did to them? Approaching and telling them how you feel may not be wise to do in that moment. So, timing is as important as any other factor when getting out of the friend zone.

Once, I had a crush on one of my colleagues at work and wanted to get out of the friend zone. We were close to the extent that other coworkers already thought we were a couple.

Guess what? I decided to tell her how I felt, and then she said she had just got out of a toxic relationship and hadn’t yet healed from the traumas of that relationship.

So, my point is that it would be unwise to persist in such cases. Perhaps give them some more time and then try again. So at least accept that friendship is sufficient, at least at the moment, while you wait for a better time to communicate your feelings to them.


3.  Create Opportunities for Intimacy

Are you still considering how to get out of the friend zone? Have you considered creating opportunities for intimacy? Well, if you haven’t, now is the time to start thinking of that, because it is one of the ways to show them that you want to be more than a friend to them. Besides, they will never know what you have in mind or how you feel about them if you don’t do that.

Leaving the friend zone can be more challenging than usual without first building emotional closeness and connection with them because you wouldn’t expect them to fall for you without connection, now, not just as friends alone.

Interestingly, getting out of the friend zone shouldn’t be difficult if you do the following things to foster a deeper level of understanding, trust, and even vulnerability.

One of the first things I would advise is to be more present. Being present doesn’t just mean being physically present; it also means that your mind is there with them. In other words, it means being fully present in the moment when you are together.

I have seen cases where people were together in the same physical space but poles apart emotionally and in every other way. Sadly, the other person who is more interested will always be the first to notice this. Let your heart not be elsewhere if you are in the same space.

What use is trying to create opportunities for intimacy when your heart is elsewhere? Additionally, you need to get creative to create opportunities for intimacy to be birthed.

For instance, plan activities or even outings to spend time alone. And you must remember that to do this, you must be spot on. This is how to get out of the friend zone if you are tired of being just a friend.


4.  Compliment Them Regularly

How To Get Out of The Friend Zone

The one thing I have noticed is that humans are never tired of receiving compliments. If only many of us knew this fact, we would be more deliberate about giving compliments.

Opportunities will often present themselves for us to use the nice words we know to get them to see us differently, but instead of taking advantage of the moment, we fail to.

Each time something like this happens, it further reduces our chances of getting out of the friend zone soon. Other times, I have realised that some of these folks tend not to seize the moment and use it because they are shy. Sadly, one thing is guaranteed when you don’t: the situation will be unchanged.

However, just because you are shy doesn’t mean you can’t give them compliments in other ways. If you are too shy to say it outrightly or to their face, you could do that via text messages. Plus, you can tell them about your feelings even subtly.

If you are still finding it difficult, I have a whole blog post dedicated to this point. And I’d like you to read 100 Compliments Men Can’t Resist. Using genuine and well-placed compliments can help you escape the friend zone quickly. So why hold back?


5.  Work On Yourself

As trivial as this may sound, this could still be why you are still stuck in the friend zone. So, if you are wondering how to get out of the friend zone, have you considered working on yourself? More often than not, we want the people we like to like us back automatically, but sometimes it doesn’t work that way. There is a place where we would need to work on ourselves.

When seeking a partner, there are things we look for, and sometimes we call them qualities. I bet you might have heard someone say, “I am looking for the qualities of a good partner in her, but I just can’t find any.” So what does that tell you? I dare say that you didn’t just begin to develop feelings for the other person just like that.

One quality or the other must have drawn you to them. So, if you are still in the friend zone, it is suggestive that you don’t have the quality they want in a partner. Furthermore, how to escape the friend zone would be knowing what they seek in a partner and then working on yourself to become those things.

Once this is done, the chances of getting them to be your partner will be very high. However, the situation will remain the same if you refuse to work on yourself. So, pick up the pace and reinvent yourself because this is how to leave the friend zone.


6.  Prioritise Yourself

How To Get Out of The Friend Zone

Sometimes, we make the mistake of pausing our whole lives because we are waiting for our crush to begin a romantic relationship with us.

Sadly, most of the time, it doesn’t end up going as we thought it would, and this will further make us feel depressed. Sometimes, we even decline other people’s requests simply because we are waiting for our crush to notice us.

This may sound selfish, but in such moments, you must put yourself first and do what’s healthy for you. Make it clear to them with your actions that your life doesn’t revolve around them.

So, go out on other dates if there are, enjoy yourself with friends and simply live your life on your own terms. Never put your life on hold for someone who doesn’t reciprocate your romantic feelings because doing that might be to your detriment later.


7.  Leave Them Wanting More

How do you get out of the friend zone? One of the ways to do that is to leave them wanting more. The goal is to make their minds work to see you differently from the traditional friend they have known you to be. In other words, we are trying to engage their thoughts in their quiet time with our words and actions.

If you are interested in someone who is probably your friend, you may want to try revealing your romantic side to them. You don’t have to be too forward or physical. Subtly hint at what being in a relationship with you would be like.

Remember I said we want to engage their thoughts? For example, if they talk about something sweet their crush did for them, you could respond by saying, “If I had a partner, I would love to do that too or even more.”

This will get them to imagine how you would treat your partner. Alternatively, you could be more direct and say, “If you were my spouse, I would…” Although they may be taken aback initially, the hint will be difficult to ignore, and they may even start seeing you differently. This is how to get out of the friend zone sooner rather than later.


8.  Surprise Them With Something

How To Get Out of The Friend Zone

When it comes to how to get out of the friend zone, nothing should be left out because what you think is inconsequential might just be the key to unlocking the door. If their love language is receiving gifts, why not use this knowledge to your advantage? Consider surprising them with something unexpected.

Now, not just anything, but with something they wouldn’t expect you to get. This is one of the perfect ways to show them that you care and will do even better if you guys begin a romantic relationship.

When you surprise them with gifts, it will tell them you had them in mind when you decided to buy them. Remember, I said nothing is unimportant regarding how to get out of the friend zone. So, this means that little gestures like baking or buying their favourite cookies can be what you need to get out of the friend zone.


9.  Try Making Them Jealous, But Proceed With Caution

If you are interested in someone who has friend-zoned you, trying to make them jealous can be an option to consider. Remember that we are considering all options for how to get out of the friend zone. However, this can be risky because if they genuinely care about you as a friend, they might just be happy for you instead of being jealous.

But what’s the harm in trying this tactic? The goal is to see if they would feel jealous and then act on it by asking you out. Sometimes, we may like someone but not realise it yet because they are single. Due to their single state, we may feel they will always be there for us whenever we need them.

However, when we see them getting swept off their feet by another person, maybe we may proceed to act. In other words, we sometimes need activators to get us to move.

So, if you are seeking how to get out of the friend zone, explore some other activators that would get them to pick up the pace so that you can get out of the friend zone.


10.  Consider Moving On

Finally, considering moving on is the last point on the list of how to get out of the friend zone. This might not be what you wanted, but sometimes things may not go as you wish. So, if the person you have feelings for does not return your romantic interest after your best efforts, accepting this outcome with grace is vital.

However, that doesn’t mean you are not attractive; it may mean that friendship was the reason life brought you both together.
So, instead of waiting for them and declining other people’s requests to go on dates, why not be brave enough to open a new chapter and write that love story you have always wanted with someone else?

How to get out of the friend zone can be dicey because, sometimes, when we make our interests known and they reject them, that friendship may not remain the same. In other cases, some even end things and go their separate ways. It is advised to tread carefully and be sure it is worth the risk.

If you’ve been asking yourself, “How can I get out of the friend zone?” or “Is getting out of the friend zone possible?” I hope this article answers your questions. Feel free to use any tips in this article to claw your way out of the friend zone. Also, feel free to leave your comments in the comment section.

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How To Get Out of The Friend Zone

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Author: Relationship And Life

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