A protective boyfriend is not one you come around often. But, instead, what we usually see is anything far from that, and it ought not to be so. Unfortunately, many have greatly misunderstood this topic for several reasons.
So, even a guy may not know when he has moved from a protective boyfriend to a controlling one. But one of the things I hope to do in this article meticulously is to distinguish between a protective boyfriend and a controlling one because many ladies fear ending up in a relationship with a controlling boyfriend. Quite frankly, who wouldn’t? Although the signs may look alike, they are not the same when viewed closely.
In simple terms, when a boyfriend is protective, it means he wants to or intends to protect you from whatever he perceives to be a danger to you in any way.
So, that may include physical or even emotional protection. In other words, whatever threatens your peace is considered dangerous to such a boyfriend. And I tell you the truth; this is so sweet. What’s better than having a protective boyfriend look out for you?
There are many signs a guy is protective of you, but one major distinguishing factor between this and someone controlling is their motive.
So, if you ever get confused, remember that the difference between a protective boyfriend and a controlling one is their motive. I hope you know that even a controlling boyfriend can lie about his motive, so I wouldn’t expect you to ask him his reasons.
Instead, his actions will always tell you more than his words will ever do in such cases. So, come with me as I share some signs of a protective boyfriend.
1. He Walks You To Your Door
Not any guy can do this for a lady. It saddens me that most guys out there are losing touch with their protective side. Ladies looked for gentlemanly traits in a guy back in the day because they spoke about how caring he would be. And such times usually make a girl dream about how things will eventually be.
There is something so romantic about walking a lady to her door and saying goodnight to her there. Not only does it speak volumes about what a romantic you are, but it also tells her you are very much interested in her safety.
And women like it when a man is that interested in their safety. Well, not because she can’t protect herself but because it speaks about loving her enough to want to see that she is safe and sound.
- The world is not short of men, but the most important thing is finding someone who prioritises your safety and cares for you.
If you want to date and start a relationship, there are different types of guys today. The world is not short of men, but the most important thing is finding someone who prioritises your safety and cares for you. Unfortunately, most guys are just after their selfish gains, not even after your safety.
2. He Is Interested In If You Got Home Safe
One of the cute protective things guys do is this one right here. Sometimes we fantasise so much about the perfect man that we leave little or no room for reality. And this has ruined countless relationships and has robbed them of pure happiness. This is one thing I have had to work on over the years, and I am still a work in progress.
Can we all be true for a moment? Movie characters or those in the romance novels you read are not real. They are what we refer to as fictitious characters. So why would you want your boyfriend to be exactly like them?
I am a realist who tries to communicate that when writing articles like this as best I can. But most of us get offended by the slightest show of our partner’s weakness or humanity.
He will never be always there to drop you off at home or walk you to your door. However, this in no way contradicts my first point.
You should know that there will be days when he won’t be able to make it. And that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love or isn’t interested in protecting you. Instead, it simply means that he is human, and you should understand on such days when they come.
So when he can’t make it with you to your door physically, he will be there emotionally with you. He will be interested to know if you have gotten home safely. And this will mean that he may call you multiple times to ensure you are well and safe in the confines of your home.
Only then will he be at peace. But I must warn you that the calls can sometimes be annoying because he might call you thrice within eight minutes. This is one of the signs of an overprotective boyfriend.
3. He Defends You
In a protective relationship, your boyfriend will always defend you because he wants nothing to threaten your safety or peace. However, when we use the word defend it does not mean to carry a spear or a sword walking around you every minute of the day.
That would be awkward and practically impossible in this era. Although to defend means to protect from harm or danger, and that can be done in different ways. And today, many people are constantly being attacked on all levels.
Often, emotional attacks are carried out against many people, leaving them weak. In such cases, your boyfriend may have sensed that coming and taken steps to avert that attack on you. Other times, he will have your back in public even though you were wrong, and when you both are in a private place, he will correct you.
Defending you doesn’t imply that you cannot protect yourself. Instead, he sees that as a way of expressing his love for you and being your shield from this cruel world.
4. He Advises You Not To Do Anything Dangerous
I understand you have a mind of your own and would like to try some new things out. But, a protective boyfriend will have no issues with that idea if it is not something dangerous or one that will disrupt your peace. In other words, he will respect your choice provided that your plan won’t cause any issues.
On the other hand, a controlling boyfriend will have issues regardless of the activity in question. Such boyfriends don’t care whether it is a nice time out with your friends or scuba diving.
So long as he doesn’t like the idea, he will fight it in any way he can. And sometimes, his tactic may even be subtle, you know, those types you wouldn’t see coming. And nine out of ten times, he will have his way. Sadly, most people in such relationships do not know they are being controlled.
- There is a difference between influencing someone’s decisions and forcing your opinion on them.
It is vital to point out that people will always influence our decisions, but there is a difference between influencing someone’s decisions and forcing your opinion on them. Although they may look alike, make no mistake, they are not the same.#
For instance, if he perceives what you intend to do might harm you physically or emotionally, he will offer guidance because he cares for you. However, if you still insist that you must do what’s on your mind, he will stand back and let you have your way.
I hate to say this, but sometimes some people won’t learn until they are taught through experience. In this case, the best a protective boyfriend can do is advise and allow you to make your decisions yourself. And hopefully, he will pray you end up making the right decision.
5. He Is Honest With You About Your Friends
What makes a man want to protect you? Of course, there are many reasons. And sometimes, even on the most sensitive topics, he will still stick his neck out for you.
The topic of friends might be uncomfortable for some people because they might have been around those friends for decades. So he might battle with it within him for a while.
For instance, he might ask himself, how do I tell her that her friends cause her problems, seeing that she has known them all her life? This is tough because your relationship with him might be broken if caution and wisdom aren’t used. And I have seen real-life cases where partners broke up because of this topic.
A protective boyfriend will try not to come between you and your friends but will try his best to be honest with you when he notices a foul play by one of them. In contrast, a controlling boyfriend’s approach and motive will differ entirely. Recall that I said earlier that the motive will always tell you more, and in addition to what I said, his approach may be different too.
One of the signs of a controlling boyfriend is that he seeks to cut you from all forms of association with your friends that will oppose his authority or dominance over your life.
Furthermore, he sees such associations as a threat to his reign in your life because he knows that if they discover his motives through his subtle act, they may object and call your attention.
6. He Wants You To Put Your Health First
One of the signs your guy friend is protective of you is that he wants you always to put her health first. And we are all familiar with the saying; health is wealth which means health is the biggest wealth anybody can have. So he will try his best to see that you put your health first in everything you do.
I understand that the times we live in demand so much from us. And, especially knowing that our world is highly economically driven, it is easy for one to work so hard and forget about their health. Sadly, there are days when we can go from morning to night without eating.
But, to be honest, that is not a healthy lifestyle. And there are other times when all we eat is junk food which is equally bad for our health.
How about those days when we are stressed because we have been working long hours throughout the week? Sadly so, this is the plight of many people. And as I said earlier, it is easy to accept this as the new normal and forget about caring for your health. But if you have a protective boyfriend, he will insist that you put your health first no matter the circumstance.
If it takes bombarding your phone with calls or messages to remind you, he will because he wants what’s best for you. Also, he will encourage you to exercise as often as possible to stay healthy. After all, good health is one of the best things anyone could ask for.
7. He Tries His Best To Provide For Your Needs
Is being protective a sign of love? This is probably the question on someone’s mind. Yes, it is. When someone is in love, it is common to feel highly protective of the person they care for.
It is similar to wanting to provide for their needs as well. You wouldn’t like them to complain about something essential that they lack. So it is natural to want to provide for those you love.
When you are in a relationship with a protective boyfriend, it is normal for him to want to provide for your needs. In contrast, some boyfriends will care less about your needs. This is one of the ways you can genuinely tell who loves you more.
The latter only cares about himself or what he can get from you. Such boyfriends forget that romantic relationships are a two-way street that involves giving and taking.
So when he tries his best to provide for your needs, it is a sign that he genuinely cares and loves you. Interestingly, it is in a man’s nature to want to provide for his woman. It’s just part of them.
So trust me, if he has the financial ability, he will do many things for you. Also, he will try his best to meet your emotional needs and any other needs you may have.
8. He Encourages Your Independence
This is another classic sign you could use to distinguish a protective boyfriend from a controlling one. Countless times in this article, I have repeatedly told you that the motive will always tell you whether he is a controlling or protective boyfriend.
- When he encourages your independence, he has your best interest at heart.
When someone wants the best for you, their actions will undoubtedly tell you no matter how they try to hide it. Similarly, when a person wants to control you for their selfish gain and pleasure, their actions will, at some point, tell you about their plans. No one wants you to be dependent on them forever.
Even parents who love their kids to death will, at some point, pray for them to be independent. I hope you see the differences between boyfriends because many have this wrong notion about protective boyfriends.
When he encourages your independence, he has your best interest at heart, girl. So, what’s better than someone encouraging you to be successful and independent? I couldn’t think of anything better than that. And if he is eager to look out for you and ensure you achieve your dreams and goals, you have found a winner in him.
Frankly, not many guys will do this because they will always want to maintain control of the relationship and you by you depending on them and not being independent.
9. He Assuages Your Fears
Let me start by giving us the meaning of the word ‘assuage.’ To assuage in this context means to make an unpleasant feeling less intense. So, while the more significant chunk of the work is yours, he will assist you in every way he can.
The word fear is broad, and it could range from minor to major things. You know, things like fear of the future, the fear of the past repeating itself, or the fear of heights. All those are things that could make one scared. As I stated earlier, the more significant work must be done by you, but a protective boyfriend will help ease them.
One of the things he will also help with is boosting your confidence. Such a boyfriend knows how fear can damage one’s confidence, and he will assist you by letting you know that you can overcome whatever comes your way, no matter how scary it may be.
10. He Takes Care Of You When You’re Sick
This is one of the highest forms of the show of affection. Of course, caring for sick ones requires patience, and not many people have that. But a guy protective of you will drop everything before him to care for you when ill.
For instance, there are cases where a boyfriend left his girlfriend when she was sick to attend to other matters. And that wasn’t the worst of it all.
When he returned from wherever he went, he didn’t apologise or show any remorse. So, excuse me, what could be more important than your girl’s health? I wouldn’t be surprised if he does it again in marriage.
11. He Gets Upset When You’re Reckless
Only someone with your best interest at heart will get upset when you are reckless with your life or any other thing vital to your life.
Likewise, as parents will get upset whenever they see their kid behaving recklessly, so will he. And the reason isn’t far-fetched. Who wouldn’t like to see their spouse become the best version of themselves?
So this explains why your boyfriend may be upset with you when he perceives that you are being reckless with your job, relationship with your friends or any other important aspect of your life. For such a guy, he only wants to see you succeed at all levels of life.
12. He Encourages You To Seek Support
He may not have the answer to all of life’s questions. But, quite frankly, nobody does. So when you are in a jam, and he seems not to have the answer or solution to that challenge, whatever that may be, he will encourage you to seek support. Such a guy recognises areas he is good at and won’t hesitate to help you when you are faced with what he can help you with.
However, as I stated earlier, he is not afraid to let you seek help from others who might have the solution. So, if you feel too embarrassed to go there alone, he will tag along to boost your confidence. That also means he is communicating to you that you are not alone.
13. When You Get Hurt, He Does Too
This shows that he is connected to you on all levels. And this makes a lot of sense why he’d want to be so protective of you because when you are smiling and happy, he is too. But when you are gloomy, he is too.
How can you be in love with someone and not be empathetic? So being empathetic of your feelings is one of the best ways a guy will try to protect you better. Simply put, he knows that if he can understand you better, he can be there for you in the ways you need.
14. He Fully Supports Your Success
People may want you to be successful but not more successful than they are, which is true. But when a guy truly loves you and is protective of you, he understands that your success is his too, and vice versa.
So he will fully support your success and encourage you in ways he can help so that you become successful. Such relationships are essential, and I extensively discussed the need to invest in relationships in my article titled, how to be Successful in life. And I’d like you to read it to learn more.
Finally, a real man is never intimidated by his woman’s success because he understands they are a team. So he would be more than happy to cheer you on as you go for your goals and achieve your dreams.
15. He Wants The World To Know You Are Together
Such a guy will love to have you close by, not because he can’t be alone but because he enjoys your company. His need for a hand around your waist or hands in yours does signify love.
Moreover, it communicates feelings of deep affection for you and his need to keep you safe and let the world know that you two are a couple. This is one of the cute protective things guys do.
So probably before reading this article, you asked, why is my boyfriend so protective of me? Throughout this article, I have stressed why and distinguished between a controlling and protective boyfriend.
However, being protective in a relationship is in no way insinuating that you can’t be about your business without your spouse. Likewise, it should not weaken the connection by allowing negative feelings of insecurity and lack of trust to come in. Always remember that romantic relationships are beautiful.
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